Lived Experience Forum

[Slybaby]

I don't know what to do, my social phobia makes me very scared to get a job and to study and im not good enough for anything else. Sometimes i feel like its easier not to be around anymore.

Everyday i wake up very nervous about something, and i don't see whats good about this life anymore.

[CherryBomb]

Hi Slybaby,

 Sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment. It sounds like you are a in dark place right now, and feeling like there’s no way out. Please know that it possible to find a way out of this place. There a few members on here that are a living testimate to this, @Rick @BatGuano @kenny66 @kristin @kato @Loopy are among a few that have experienced dark times similar to yourself. 

It takes a lot of courage coming to the forums and speaking about what you’re going through. Having suicidal thoughts can be scary and overwhelming – but they are thoughts that do not need to be acted upon. If you are having these types of thoughts, it’s really important to speak with someone.

 Do you have someone you can speak to? Perhaps a counselor, friend or family member?

If not, we know some really helpful services. Unfortunately we are not a crisis service, but some places you can call now for support are listed below; You are more than welcome to continue the forums, and strongly encourage you to do so, but if you need help immediately, please call one of the numbers below.

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467

If in immediate danger: 000

If you are feeling suicidal, it’s really important to call one of the numbers above. You don’t deserve to go through this alone.

Stay safe,

CB

[kato]

Hi @Slybaby
Welcome to the forum, it can be quite overwhelming when we have feelings like this, I find social situations still a bit difficult but I keep pressing forward as I have learned majority of my feelings have been not how it actually turned out.
as CB mentioned if needed please call one of the numbers they can be quite helpful.
I have a playlist of music in my phone it is labelled pick me up.... it has songs that I find put me in a good mood, I usually play them loud while getting ready to go out to see friends or my dr if I am feeling overly nervous. And some mornings I play it just to get me out of bed. Maybe something like that might help......
I also try to address why I am having the intrusive thoughts and then try to find a way to lessen their effect on me
I hope this helps in some way
please feel free to ask questions as well as many members here have expierence in similar stuff
thanks
kato

[peace]

@Slybaby Hi and welcome. I have the challenges of social phobia also. Yet once I get comfortable with someone I manage ok. Ots really funny cause I have no problems doing speeches etc and I can do 1 on 1 conversation (as long as I can keep the other person talking -- which I've noticed that most people like to do). I've deviced alsorts of ways to manage living as closely to normal as can be. Besides the years of therapy I have used my children as a sheild, taking them were ever I went. Then it was my dog. I could no study at Uni as the people freaked me out and as for working I found that I could hide a little as a cleaner. And thats what I have done for my career. I have often dreamed but I know the reality is all too fearful. So anything that I can do alone and not look silly doing, I do. But I can't go to cinemas or the swimming pool or popular beaches. But I must say I tend to like being alone as it is safe.
Here on this forum it is safe Slybaby. One can communicate in a healthy manner about almost anything and here is a lot of supportive and caring individuals. I think some are really wise and I have been uplifted many a few times.
So Slybaby you are not alone in your darkness we are here to listen and maybe even lend a hand. Hang in there. Peace be with you ♡♡

[kenny66]

Hi Slybaby

Nice to meet you on the site. Sorry you feel so down.Its no fun being in a space where there appears to be no positive side to things.

If I get to a really low place I go to accident and emergency ring one of the  crisis numbers.This has worked for me every time I get scared and need some help.

I go through crisis like you describe a bit. But I do come out the other side and realise there are some very good things about being in the world in spite of my MI. I don't go out a lot too and don't relate to people very well but I do make an effort to get around that.

I dint think I was good for anything but I got down and volunteeed at the RSPCA and the local mental health clinic.

That really gave me a sense of achievement but also put into perspective my issues compared to other people. In trhe scheme of things by comparison I wasnt doing to bad.

Casual observers think my life has been a real train wreck, but I don't see it like that. With all that has happened to me to destroy my confidence, spirit and worth I actually discovered that I do have a value and that some people would miss me if I wasn't in their life.

I hope you can get to realise how individual you are as a person, as I do. Good luck and lots of support.

kenny

[Slybaby]

Thank you for the replies. I took a nap after crying for a long time and seeing these advices lifted me up. I hope i can contribute too in the future. And i always wanted to volunteer for an animal shelter 🙂 thanks!

Ill be sure to read the guidelines too.

[kristin]

Hey @Slybaby 

Welcome to the forums! Good for you having the courage to speak up and reach out here when you are feeling so low.

I'm sorry you are stuggling and feeling so overwhelmed. Suffering from anxiety and phobias is pretty horrible and can be very debilitating. I sometimes struggle with anxiety and agoraphobia as a result of PTSD.

I'm pleased to see you managed to have a good cry and a sleep. Sometimes crying can really relieve a huge build up of emotion and distress, and although it is hard and painful it can be very cathartic.

Please keep posting and let us know how you're going. We are happy to hear from you about your honest experiences and feeling - whether good, bad, or in-between. We try to be a supportive community and encourage each other on our journeys. It sounds like @kenny66 has given you a terrific idea for a way you might enjoy connecting with your own local community. I hope that goes really well for you!

Feel free to explore the forums (you can search the forum using words or names) or ask us questions.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

[Rick]

@Slybaby 

Hello Slybaby,

My name is Rick

There are few if any aspects of any mental illness that we would recommend to anyone. It is a truly exhausting, frightening, displacing and all round sucky position to be in.

The thoughts accompanied by the intense feelings we endure are extremely challenging.

In my experience though I have discovered that the very people who deal with such challenges are actualy the best equipped to deal with them. 

A person experiencing the symptoms of a mental illness seem to be able to develope enormous strength and resiliency.

The truth is that I see this in every person I have met with MI issues. And I hope this is similar to your experience.

It's good to recognise how you are feeling and what you are thinking, but it's just as important to remember that feelings are a reaction to thoughts and thoughts only have as much power as we give them.

I have battled with suicidal thought since I was 9yo. I have come to a place where I can acknowledge the damn things but I don't need or even want to act on them. They are merely a product of a mind that though very clever and quick is also slightly damaged. 

I guess in a long winded way I'm just saying that if you want to hang on you can hang on. Conversely If you don't you still can. 

Talking is always some help. No cure but a relief. So use this forum and talk. We will support you.

And you may well find that supporting others works as an effective distraction and then things can ease off. 

The most important thing?

Tho everything is impossible, the dark is frightening there is always the light of hope,

And hope, endures

Rick

[BatGuano]

---

@Slybaby wrote:
I don't know what to do, my social phobia makes me very scared to get a job and to study and im not good enough for anything else. Sometimes i feel like its easier not to be around anymore.

Everyday i wake up very nervous about something, and i don't see whats good about this life anymore.

---

Hi Slybaby,

                 'Kay, whoa, yes I quoted from the Bible.  I'm not about to get all dogmatic.  I have a faith, its Buddhism, but you have to admit the Christians have great one-liners and are pretty decent people.

Rick the Wise has written on Hope, and I think this thread has had mention of faith, in that things will get better.  Capital 'F' Faith is more like the religion stuff, so I mean simple homegrown garden variety faith that you can get through the bad stuff and feel better.  Hell, you will feel darn good and damnfine.

So... love.  My religion puts it as 'metta' or loving-kindness.  Earlier versions of the Bible used 'charity' instead of 'love'.  Just so we get to the idea behind the word.

I don't like social contact in large amounts.  People scare me.  But I've found it helpful to feel some kindness towards people, and bear in mind that there are good people.  Here's the trick; you start with feeling kindness for yourself.

If you can value and love yourself then the same feeling can be extended to others.  Any living being will do, and trees are less scary than people.  Small cuddly furry beings can wag tails and purr.

Anyway, hope you feel better by and by.   

[kato]

@Slybaby 

i agree with @BatGuano  on this, the best thing to help is having kindness for yourself.

and batguano i have missed you and your words of wisdom, hope you are all good