Very interesting @Jynx …..
I am not sure I am a “people-pleaser” as such, but it gives me pleasure to support others and help enable them towards their goals - but I do the same for myself. I am patient with people who don’t appreciate what I view as my gift to them, because I also appreciate that they may not view it that way (and it’s also possible to become very arrogant about that if there is not a degree of humility - in its positive form - along with it). Until I fell into the grip of narcissistic people, which I didn’t recognised because I was loved so much by my own family, I didn’t recognise that this sort of personality trait is highly desired by them and quickly turns to cat-and-mouse abuse cycles in the wrong hands.
Boy, it’s been a learning curve ….. how to remain true to myself, but not have my love of giving to others taken for granted and / or abused.
My greatest defender has turned out to be etiquette and protocol. That can sound really strange, but polite delivery of “niceness” without actually engaging emotionally with the person you are giving to is hard for people to mess with, other than to be blatantly rude ….. and even then if you can muster enough grace to simply step back and walk away in a situation like that, they still haven’t actually reached you. The bad behaviour is all on them.
I have learned to reserve my emotions for my special and trusted relationships, but still wish and throw blessings around towards others, whether that is recognised by them or not. It means a lot to me anyway. I defiantly keep beauty as active in my world as I am able to, but I have become cautious as to how much of myself I invest towards pleasing others.
Etiquette, protocol, good grace, can be practiced as a shield as well as practiced as a whole-hearted investment.
Does that make sense ?
