Severe ocd

[NatureLover]

Yes, I understand that your daughters' OCD is so severe they can't function or face life, and I'm so sorry to hear, @Dahlia100  😞 @Brena74  😞

That's why I mentioned the SI risk (suicidal ideation) 😞

Ummm...there were 2 things that help me to manage the OCD without doing the ERP. One was a change in my thinking when I moved house. Previously I had stashed the washcloths in a hard to access drawer, and there weren't enough of them, plus I didn't have a dryer so I always had lots hanging up all over the house drying, and it used to stress me and very much distress me that I couldn't use them to wipe things as much as I felt I needed to. So when I moved house I decided to stack them on some shelves, easy to reach and out in the open for anyone to see, and buy lots more of them, and buy a dryer. Also tell people about my OCD openly, if the opportunity came up. Basically I went from fighting my OCD to accepting it fully. This somehow took some pressure off me...strangely enough.

The other thing that helped was talking to my psychologist about my OCD compulsions in detail. For instance, washing my hands in pure disinfectant, and pouring 2L of pure disinfectant into each laundry wash. She asked me why I did it, and really listened to my answers. Then she gently suggested that washing my hands in pure disinfectant was harmful to my skin and hands. She cared about my skin and hands. I came to agree with her, and about the laundry wash too, so stopped those practices. 

I think listening is powerful. If you asked your daughter about a compulsion, and listened to her answer in depth, you might be able to understand a bit more, and maybe address the underlying fear down the track, very gently? i.e. maybe have the attitude "I can see that you greatly fear that if you don't do this thing, your dad might have a car accident. I would also be worried like that, if I had OCD. Can I tell you gently that your dad is a very careful driver" / or whatever else you think to reassure her.

Not sure if this is helpful...please ignore if not 🙂

[hanami]

Love this advice so much @NatureLover . ❤️

[NatureLover]

Aww, thanks, @hanami  ❤️

[Shaz51]

Hello @NatureLover , @Dahlia100 , @hanami , @Brena74 , @FloatingFeather 

thank you soo much for your wonderful advice my friend 

❤️

my husband was diagnosed with OCD years ago , he is doing things all the time , sometimes now it seems worse at different times 

he has put locks on every window and double checks them is just one of them 

he says to me " that I have some OCD too " 

[hanami]

Hey @Shaz51 

How does it make you feel when your husband says that to you?

❤️

[Dahlia100]

Thank you so much @NatureLover for your advice - some very helpful tips which I will really try. In the past I’ve always tried to stop the compulsions or get really upset with her and try to logically talk her out if things which know doesn’t work.

She has had SII in the past but would never go through with it but you do need to watch that I agree. 

I’m really trying to work on being understanding and telling her I’m proud of her when she does something ocd would normally prevent her from doing. 

Im not sure what’s best in terms of the reassurance- I know from what I’ve read reassurance can be accommodating the ocd but I can understand that when you are scared if something you would want reassurance- this confuses me a bit as I don’t know where to find that balance.

All I know is I’m trying everything I can to help her so she can function like other girls her age. 
I’m really happy for you that you are able to manage your ocd. It takes a lot of courage to get it under control so you should be very proud of yourself that you have been able to overcome some of the ocd obstacles. 

In terms of changing your thinking was it just the fact that you had new surroundings or did something help with this? 

[NatureLover]

Sorry to hear, @Shaz51  😞

Yes, the triggers for OCD go up and down so at some times it is worse then others. 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dahlia100 🙂 Thank you for your kind words ❤️ And I'm glad something I wrote was helpful, as I was worried last night I had offered unasked advice. Which I did, but you've been kind about it!

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@Dahlia100 wrote:

Im not sure what’s best in terms of the reassurance- I know from what I’ve read reassurance can be accommodating the ocd but I can understand that when you are scared if something you would want reassurance- this confuses me a bit as I don’t know where to find that balance.

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Regarding the reassurance, you're not accommodating the compulsion. You're getting to the underlying fear and reassuring that. Hopefully that will stop or lessen the compulsion. 

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@Dahlia100 wrote:

She has had SII in the past but would never go through with it but you do need to watch that I agree. 

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Sadly, anyone can go through with it 😞

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@Dahlia100 wrote:

In terms of changing your thinking was it just the fact that you had new surroundings or did something help with this? 

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It wasn't just the new surroundings...it was exhausting hiding or pushing back against the OCD, so I just decided to stop. That meant there was less pressure on me once I accepted the OCD, so there was less stress, which meant less triggers. (I sometimes sanitise my hands when stressed, even though there isn't a germ trigger, so stress itself causes compulsions.) There was also less exhaustion once I accepted the OCD, which meant more energy for healthier activities /thinking. It's hard to explain. 

Wishing you and your daughters heaps of good wishes @Dahlia100  @Brena74 ❤️

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Shaz51,

Sorry for the delayed response - I haven't been on the Forums for a couple of days. 

All good for me thanks (glad it's Friday). How's all for you? Well I hope.

FloatingFeather xx 

[Brena74]

Hi @Dahlia100 ,

how are you and your daughter/family going? Has she managed to maintain or improve her progress since hospital? How about meds and/or treatment? 

I was struggling when I last posted so thanks for your support (and others). I took some time out to gather my thoughts and energy to keep up the fight with OCD in our house.

it has been a rough few weeks but I am glad to say our daughter has improved a bit. Still a long way to go but gives me hope.

Sending you hugs!