At breaking point

[Smithchip96]

Hello, 

I’m struggling with trying to keep it together. 

Here’s a back story, 2024 was the worst year, hell I’d even take to option to live through the covid pandemic lockdowns again if it meant 2024 didn’t happen. 

My grandpa who was my Rock, my role model, the one family member I knew I could have a complete psychological schizophrenic screaming match with and still be stronger then ever passed away after a long fight with his health and then two months later my mother in law got really really sick and fell into a coma and developed locked in syndrome and that completely broke my parter and I stayed strong pushed the death of my grandfather down and powered through it for her, took all the time off I needed, drove her every second day 3.5 hours each way for her to see her mum on hospital but then it came to the time when all the medical decisions fell on her as the oldest child and it came down to turning off the life support system but during all this my partner was physically sick, we thought she wasn’t coping with the stress but we ultimately found out we were expecting another child. My partner wanted a obortion but couldn’t go through with it and now we are almost 12 since her mum died and her mental health is so bad but she can’t see it, she thinks there is nothing wrong and here I am struggling to take care of her and our three kids who are 5,3 and nine week and when she has a breakdown I feel like I am failing as a father, and a partner. I don’t have many close friends well at least none that I talk to or see as I stopped messaging everyone first and everyone stopped talking but the only escape I have is when I get to work but even then my workplace stress is so bad I hate being there and I don’t know what to do 

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Smithchip96 and welcome to the forums.

I'm so sorry to hear about all the struggles and loss you've faced in the last year. That's so much for anyone to have gone through. I'm really glad that you've felt able to reach out here and share what you're going through.

It must be isolating not having others to talk to about this. It can be really common to retreat from friendships when you're going through a difficult time, I know I've done it and so have many other members on here. Do you feel like any of your friends would be open to restarting that line of communication if you were to reach out? I find people can be pretty understanding, and it sounds like you need the additional support right now.

Speaking of additional support, I'm wondering if you've considered looking into some professional supports? It sounds like there is a lot on your shoulders right now, in addition to processing that loss of your grandfather, and it could help to have someone to talk to about all of this.

I hope you can keep reaching out here as well and that the forums can be a safe space for you to connect

[Appleblossom]

@Smithchip96 

So much loss and new life to deal with all at once. I have big respect for you. No words can take it away, but please don’t be too hard on yourself. Winnicotts…” good enough parenting”, was a helpful concept to get me through. You can only do your best and self care is a part of that.

I hope your partner also gets through it all. So much pressure is put on parents these days. We need a village to raise a child….

 Greg Irvine - st kilda pier

sometimes looking at things helps me calm down 

just sending a picture… in the hope it is better than words