Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Meowmy]

@BPDSurvivor hey there, I think y mum has BPD. She is either extremely intensely connected to me or just very hurtfully throw me off. She also has jig issues with her energy. I remember her all my life mostly sit there complaining things are not done around the house. Very hard.

[BPDSurvivor]

Totally in agreement with you @ShiningStar  - BPD is certainly highly sterotyped. 

@BlueBay probably agrees with me that pwBPD are often called 'manipulative' and 'attention-seeking'. I have been told to my face that certain government services 'do not accept people with a BPD diagnosis'.

[BPDSurvivor]

@BlueBay ,

Thank you for sharing.  Your description is so accurate. 

I often explain to people that pwBPD are emotional children trapped in an adult's body. People expect our emotional self to be highly developed, yet somehow, we have missed that learning - this is often attributed to trauma (but not always the case).

[BPDSurvivor]

That must be so hard @Meowmy . I can absolutely resonate with what you are describing.

pwBPD often find it challenging to regulate their emotions. It is a roller coaster ride not only for us, but for those around us, and I believe this is what you are describing - one moment immensely loving, the next moment - rejected.

What is even harder is that probably you expect a mother figure to be stable. Yet what you have described is so destablising - especially if you've been subjected to it all your life.

[BlueBay]

Yes I often feel like a child trapped in an adults body. It's hard to explain. But I feel it's got a lot to do with childhood trauma. 
@Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @ShiningStar 

[BPDSurvivor]

@Meowmy @Shaz51 @BlueBay @ShiningStar ,

I remember times when I'd be all happy and on-top of the world. Then, if someone closed a door, it'd set me off so that I'd fly into a rage and SH. Closing a door would mean little to most people, but for me, it signified a cut connection. I think the underlying factor was a fear of abandonment.

Unfortunately, in order to 'feel' some control, self-harm is very common amongst those diagnosed with BPD.

[Meowmy]

@BPDSurvivor and my mum feels unless she is mostly in control of me, something bad will happen to me. So she is usually very controlling then periodically blast out very hurtful abuses. but I think her heart is good. She is just very sick.

[Shaz51]

Hello @BPDSurvivor , @Meowmy , @BlueBay , @ShiningStar 

Have a friend whoes grandson is having panic attacks  , is this part of BPD , his mum has BPD 

[BlueBay]

@BPDSurvivor  Can you pls explain what the pw means. 

[BPDSurvivor]

True @BlueBay . I often felt like I didn't pick up the cues which taught everyone else to emotionally 'grow-up'. 

Instead, I needed to be explicitly taught and had to practice picking up these cues within a therapy space. This takes a LONG time. And I believe that's why many clinicians don't want to work with pwBPD - takes too long to see results!