Really, really not doing well. Stress is overwhelming. Don't know what to do.

[Jlol]

Hi all.

Look, not trying to say anything wrong, or get banned, or have any posts deleted, but I'm really not doing well at the moment.

I've been incredibly stressed for a few months now mostly due to massive changes at work. This has impacted my physical health as well as my my mental health - constant infections, nausea, tiredness.

With my mental health it's really changed things. For example, I find I cannot cope with 'normal' things anymore like going outside. I still do go out to do grocery shopping and the like but it's so, so, stressful and just depressing to do so. Its like leaving either work or my home causes a cascade of overwhelm and depression. Never felt anything like this before. It's kind of scary.

I've talked to my GP and counsellor and they're clueless other than suggesting the magical, fantasy world of "taking some time off work" (who's gonna pay my bills if I do that?).

Don't know what to do. Feel like this is really, really getting out of control and that it will end up "unaliving" (such BS we have to use these euphemisms) me sooner or later if I can't get a grip on it.

Anyway, just posting here out of a kind of desperation. Again, not trying to p*** off any Sane staff, or get anyone in trouble, just posting this out of desperation and need to do something.

[tyme]

Hey @Jlol ,

I wanted to start off by firstly thanking you for reaching out and being quite plain about what's going on for you. 

I hear how hard it is, and it has been for a long time. In the past, there have been a lot of questions you've raised which I have not been able to answer as I do not agree with what you have written. Yet under it all, I hear your cries and your pain, and I really hope there's a way to agree to disagree on some things so that we can move forward and support you with what we CAN support you with.

You're right in saying that magical, "take some time off work' doesn't really assist you in your circumstances - I hear that, and I also hear that you are reaching out, out of desperation.

If you don't mind me sharing some of my own personal experiences, it wasn't all that long ago that I found myself in a similar space.

TW: SI

Content/trigger warning

I was living to die. Every day was a gamble between life and death so that I never knew if it was my last.

Long story short, a clinician gave me a wake up call and said, "You gotta be sick of being sick. You are the author of your story. And if you don't like how your story is going, change it." This was a turning point for me because for over a decade, my life was a misery.

Content/trigger warning

I spent more time sectioned than I did at home. At the same time, if these interventions were not in place, I would not be here to tell my story.

Over the course of 3-5 years, I worked hard on making changes. Each time I noticed an unhelpful thinking pattern was brewing, I'd have to change it. It's sorta hard to explain... It was undeniably hard work as I had to work against my normal thinking patterns to pave the way for new neural paths to form.

Fast forward, things couldn't be better now. I feel totally in control of the way I think as I can 're-direct' my thoughts. It doesn't come without challenges, but I find it is now natural for me to do it. I don't regret any of my journey as I feel I would not be here today if it wasn't for what I have experienced.

I hope you find hope, reassurance and connection. 

I'm more than happy to walk alongside you, but I'll be frank - I don't always have the capacity to answer your questions.

If there are parts of my response above which you do not appreciate, feel free to let me know and I'll edit it.