I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24  umm

I'm sorry but this goes SO HARD

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@Captain24 wrote:

It was t really that cold this morning compared to other mornings. It was only minus 3.  

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MINUS THREE FRICKIN DEGREES - NOT THAT COLD? Yahuh umm tell me Captain ARE YOU AN ICE QUEEN?!  🤣🤣

Ahem! 

Anyway, yeah, legit, I imagine that with work being such a huge source of stress, work events aren't exactly gonna be a wicked fun time.

Ach, you home and in your comfy clothes now at the very least?

[Captain24]

Oh it was cold @Jynx but it’s better than the minus 4s and 5s with feels like -9+. Right now it’s 5 degrees and we are excited cause at this time of night it’s not in the minus’ as it has been. I am still cold and miserable though! 

Yeah.. work stuff is hard. I feel like people are looking at me and judging me. 

Yeah. I’ve had a shower and put a tracksuit on. I’ve got my work clothes washing in the hope of getting them dry over the next few days. 

I haven’t eaten anything as I just can’t be bothered. I really hate the way I’m feeling at the moment. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 wow, and here I thought Melbs was cold!! 

And if they do judge you, that tells me that they are judgemental, not that they are correct. They can only see you from their own frame of reference. And they don't sound like the sort of people that are your vibe so who gives a hoot about their frame of reference!! 

Aww hun, apathy being a butt? Is there like, a small, very easy food that's more approachable? Vegemite toast is my go-to when I feel rotten. 

Any plans this week?

[Captain24]

Nah.. just can’t do it @Jynx 

I had no plans but I just got off the phone to mum and she wants to organise a BBQ. Guess where? A minimum of 8 people could be up to 12. Guess who is going to have to do all the work? I can’t say no. I love my auntie and uncle that are coming. Their daughter is ok, I haven’t seen her in over 12 years. The rest I don’t even know them. 

That’s just pushed me over the edge. Way over. 

[Jynx]

Oh noooooo @Captain24 

Can you put your foot down with just like "Hey you can have it at my house but I am NOT doing any set up or clean up" or something? 

How old is the daughter? 12 years is a long time, not to see a cousin! 

[Captain24]

I think she would be about 38 roughly. @Jynx. She is bringing at least 2 of her kids and the youngest is 9 I think the other is around 11. Her older kids are 21ish and 18ish. 

I don’t want to be around so many people and it’s my house so I can’t escape. It’s just expected that I do everything. Mum will probably come a bit earlier and help. But then that also means I have to spend more time with her. It’s a double edged sword. 

Im scared

[tyme]

Heya @Captain24 , doing all the work again?

I'm glad to hear about your aunt and uncle.... well one of them anyway. I remember you said you have many.

[Jynx]

@Captain24 oh hun, sending soooo many squishy hugs. I hear how scared you are, how much this has thrown you. Take some deep breaths, maybe a wee stretch, and maybe reread your psych's email, if it is still bringing comfort? Definitely should let her know about this as well!! 

I am off for tonight. I hope your week is chill (well chill as it can be!!), and I will catch you next time lovely 💜 You got this, and we got you!!

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

Yea, it’s great to have these ideas but it’s left up to me. 

This uncle is a minister. He is awesome and I love him dearly. I cried at nans funeral because I didn’t know when I would see him and his wife again or their other daughter who lives in Tasmania. She is the nicer of the two kids. They live on the Gold Coast. 

It’s really rocked me. I can’t people at all let alone in my house where I have no where to go, no way of leaving early. 

[Captain24]

I don’t think 50 minutes is long enough to get through it all. I’ll probably end up having to have one on Thursday. @Jynx 

Have a good week… I’ll stress out to you on Friday night.