I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Today was quite a nice day. @rav3n I even got my washing dry but now it’s dark and freezing cold. I’m not going so well. 

Pix is pretty good. She plays up a little when I’m trying to blow dry her. With Jett water goes everywhere. He hangs onto me tight and I only have one hand left so I have no control over the water but he is reasonably good to blow dry. 

Stuff is slowly coming out. I’m scared at what is coming through and I’m scared to tell my psychologist because I’m scared of the judgement. I’ve done some pretty low moral things. I don’t want her to see me differently. 

It was really good. The sun was a game changer today. But now there is no sun. It’s cold. It’s dark and so am I. 

[Captain24]

  

[AuntGlow]

That's okay! I am glad you did. ☺️ @Captain24 

I like that. Kind is a wonderful quality. How do you like to express your kindness?

Okay, maybe we can start now? What do you think would help you to feel cozy tonight? Try to think sensorily - tea, blankets, showers. 

That must feel so good, even when it is scary. 💛

[Captain24]

I did a VIA survey and kindness was one of my qualities. @AuntGlow. I guess just trying to be nice to people. Be caring and checking how they are. 

I’m not sure. I guess I can try a shower but it’s hard to get underdressed in the cold. I’ve never tried a blanket. Usually I have dogs on me. I could try a hot lemon and honey drink. 

It does feel good but with the thoughts that are slowly surfacing I’m scared to tell her as I don’t want her to judge me or think of me differently. 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 !

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

How are you? 

[tyme]

Really good 🙂 I've been on the go and getting lotsa stuff done which I feel good about @Captain24 

Good to see you. Seems like I've missed you for a while coz you were working.

[Captain24]

That’s so good @tyme. Having that sense of achievement.

Yeah that work thing gets in the way a lot!!! 

[Captain24]

Do you have anything exciting going on @tyme ?

[AuntGlow]

That's really lovely. I am sure people appreciate your curiosity and interest very much. I know I do! @Captain24 

It is, I get this. 🥶 Wrapping yourself in a blanket could be super helpful! Or maybe even holding a hot water bottle? Hot lemon and honey sound great though. 

Oh, I am sure she won't. I get why you may fear this and it's valid. But her job is to be understanding and curious, not judgemental. I was worried about telling my psych things I held shame around, and she was like, 'oh, me too! That's very common.' haha So you never know how someone will react. She will probably be happy you trusted her and just want to support you through it. 💛