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28-05-2017 02:28 PM
28-05-2017 02:28 PM
The black dog
Hi all. I'm from the lived experience forum but I think I need to wander over here, hopefully for some advice. I've recently been disgnosed with anxiety and depression which has been quite debilitating in the last few months. My partner has been the most loving, caring, supportive person ever. Last night we ended up in emergency because he had chest pain and couldn't breathe. Turns out it was a panic attack. While we were there he broke down in tears and said he is afraid he is becoming depressed because his heart breaks to see me so sad. He said he is so scared of what's happening to me, and not being/doing "enough". Now we are both scared that we're both going to spiral deep down into this black hole and neither of us will be able to pull ourselves or the other out. Any advice?? He doesn't want to see a psychologist (of course!) thanks in advance
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28-05-2017 02:39 PM
28-05-2017 02:39 PM
Re: The black dog
Hello @Former-Member
have a look at these 2 threads, there is a difference between compassion fatigue which i get all the time and carer`s burnout
I have tagged you ther too
Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much
Carers Hints and tips to Success
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28-05-2017 02:44 PM
28-05-2017 02:44 PM
Re: The black dog
Hello @Former-Member
also click on the thread below , it is about burnout
soynds like he is having compassion fatique but have a read xx
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28-05-2017 02:50 PM
28-05-2017 02:50 PM
Re: The black dog
I know he said that he doesnt want to see a psych but maybe you could suggest him going to a therapy session for couples so he has you there as well and also he can get some more reliable information about how to gelp you...?
Maybe you could give him the black dog institute website to have a look as well. They have quite abit of information and he is also able to email them with all his concerns as well
Hugs to you sitting with you 💕💕
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28-05-2017 02:53 PM
28-05-2017 02:53 PM
Re: The black dog
Hello @outlander
Hello @Former-Member, SANE has some writting resourses as well to have a look at too
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28-05-2017 03:26 PM
28-05-2017 03:26 PM
Re: The black dog
Hello @Former-Member
Compassion fatigue
Warning signs - cognition
- Intrusive thoughts and/or images of consumers’ traumatic situations
- Developing a worldview in terms of victims and perpetrators
- Decreased sense of safety
- Increased suspicion of others
- Decreased trust in others
- Diminished feelings of personal control and freedom
- Feelings of therapeutic impotence/helplessness
- Loss of hope
- Guilt
- Victim-blaming
- Diminished sense of purpose, accomplishment, or enjoyment of work
- Difficulties with attention and concentration
- Increased forgetfulness
Warning signs – psychological / emotional warning signs
- Increased anger and irritability
- Lower frustration tolerance
- Depression
- Decreased ability to feel joy
- Increased feelings of anxiety
- Feelings of horror or dread
- Inability to maintain balance between empathy and objectivity
- Feeling unappreciated, alienated, and isolated
- Emotional withdrawal from colleagues, friends, and family
- Over-identification with person you’re supporting
Warning signs – Physical
- Chronic fatigue
- Increased somatic complaints (headache, stomach aches, back pain, etc.)
- Increased muscle tension
- Physiological arousal in the form of palpitations and hypervigilance
- Warning signs – behavioural
- Difficulty sleeping (insomnia or oversleeping)
- Workaholism
- Increase in addictive behaviors such as compulsive eating or substance abuse
- Impairment in day-to-day functioning including missed or cancelled appointments
- Increased isolation
- Chronic lateness
- Increased absenteeism from work
Compassion fatigue is different to burn out, but can have related warning signs. However, the main differences are compassion fatigue can happen quickly and is mostly focused on a person or one element of your life (ie: a nurse may still be able to show compassion and support for a family member or friend, but not patients or collegues). While it's quick to come, it can also be quick to go, especially when focusing on self-care.
While burn out is a slow burn (see what I did there?) It often is related to a number of things in your life building up and spilling over, so it's gradual. It often hits us harder and can be longer to recover from.
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28-05-2017 03:28 PM
28-05-2017 03:28 PM
Re: The black dog
@Shaz51 i just tagged @Former-Member in cherrybombs comapssion fatigue thread too 🙂
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28-05-2017 03:28 PM
28-05-2017 03:28 PM
Re: The black dog
hello @Former-Member
The following about Burn out is going to a bit text heavy. It might be worth skimming it, looking at each stage and some of the dot points associated with it, and come back another time to read it in depth.
Some frameworks suggest that burn out consists of three stages
Stage 1 – Stress Arousal
Stage 2 – Energy Conservation
Stage 3 – Exhaustion
Stage 1 - Stress Arousal
- Irritability
- Anxiety
- Bruxism (grinding teeth at night)
- Insomnia
- Forgetfulness/poor concentration
- Gastro-intestinal disorders
- Headaches
Stress Arousal.
Stress arousal includes physiological and psychological responses. Some of these include persistent irritability, persistent anxiety, periods of high blood pressure, bruxism (the grinding of teeth during sleep), insomnia, and forgetfulness. Additionally, you may have heart palpitations, unusual heart arrhythmia, concentration problems, headaches/stomach problems, and acute gastrointestinal symptoms. With the presence of any two of these, you may be experiencing stage 1 stress arousal.
Stage 2 - Energy Conservation
- Lateness
- Procrastination/turning work in late
- Excessive time off
- Sexual dysfunction
- Fatigue
- Social withdrawal
- Increased substance use
Energy Conservation.
Energy conservation attempts to compensate for stress. If those strategies fail, consequences might include excessive lateness; procrastination; excessive time off; sexual dysfunction (desire, performance); persistent tiredness; social withdrawal from friends and family; increased cynicism; resentment; increased substance use (nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, prescription drugs); excessive apathy; and lack or loss of spirituality. Again, any two of these symptoms may signal you're in stage 2 of the burnout cycle.
Stage 3 - Exhaustion
- Chronic sadness/depression
- Suicidal ideations
- Chronic headaches
- Social isolation
Exhaustion
The exhaustion stage is where most people finally get a sense that something may be wrong. The symptoms include: chronic sadness or depression, chronic stomach or bowel problems, chronic mental fatigue, chronic physical fatigue, chronic headaches or migraines, the desire to "drop out" of society… the desire to get away from family, friends, and even recurrent suicidal ideation. Like the previous stages any two of these symptoms can indicate stage 3 burnout.
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28-05-2017 03:29 PM
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28-05-2017 08:23 PM
28-05-2017 08:23 PM