Couldn’t visit dad yesterday, seeing my face makes him want to go home. And he thinks I’m mum - why did I bother coming back from Qld?
I don’t belong here. His aged care facility are not remotely interested in what I have to offer. Being ‘away’ so long doing sale of my house hasn’t helped, makes me look bad. Maybe I I shouldn’t have sold my house just yet.
I found out from Public Guardian yesterday that dad’s facility have applied / asked PGuardian to approve PERMANENT PLACEMENT. Of cause this will cover costs with dad’s house sale $400k. They said I have 3wks to prepare a case to bring dad home, including proposed services (I thought they knew this) :(. all the sometimes invasive services coming to the home for dad, sometimes twice a day... Also said thry do not yet have the RFD document (reason for decision document) from NCAT - which tells me - I could still be ‘the bady’ in their eyes which would account for the contempt I’ve been shown. They also
I had a dream dad was stuck up on a ladder and couldn’t find the rail to get down and he was hanging on tight, and confused and anxious 😞
FORCING PARENTS INTO RESIDENTIAL CARE IS HEARTBREAKING!
I have nothing left.
Yesterday bro4 ones over wanting loan to buy tobacco. I said a quick NO as gave him $800 only a week ago. Then he harps on how I’m really draining to be around lately 😞
:(. I don’t wanna drain people, makes me wanna die, the thought of being a burden. And this is the one family member who DOES help with dad’s transport sometime.
Did I say he has Sz. (psychosis) yet thinks MH wanna cut him loose. He’s grandeous and loud and arms everywhere.,, and that’s when he’s just relating a story, and arms & legs everywhere, and can’t did down for cupola.., and no needy.
I’m looking at him thinking ‘this is my best family support’
I’m spent! Tthe weeds are knee heigh, the fridge is empty, washing baskets full, dishes overflowing... Feels like I got nothing left., no energy.
I Gotta get out of here but not sure I’ll find the energy. It would be easy to give up. Nobody’s gonna carry me and I’m not sure I can do ity pack up,.. go.., but where...
Yesterday I put dad’s car in for repairs for rego, walked all the way home. Day before I fixed dads windscreen. Ffinally tang & insured my car - with NRMA (600 cheaper than alians)
Rang Centrelink to cancel carers allowance.
😺Made contact with the real owner of mums cat, whose ‘chip’ is still in him. She still loves him ‘banjo’ who still visits her round the corner but the lets him be an outside cat. Told her mum had died (she knew she was sick but didn’t know) & dad’s gone to permanent care and I’m allergic...
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN
