Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[quietscreams]

Oh I hear you loud and clear. I've been there. Life is on hold. It's draining and terrifying. You need plenty of rest to have energy when needed.
If part diagnosis is out, the rest will follow. It takes time for full diagnosis to be confirmed to you, if the same as it was with us, but with me, I knew the diagnosis from the start. I was glad to get confirmation so I knew I could trust my instincts as I lost all confidence in myself. But I was right - with everything. My daughter just had to be at a stage where she felt comfortable with allowing us to know. We learned bit by bit.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you for sharing @quietscreams ..... 💜💐💕

[Shaz51]

Hello @Eagle, been i thinking of you today , how are you xx

Hello @quietscreams, @Former-Member xx

[Former-Member]

@Cath22
Checking in to see how you and mini Cath are going.

[Cath22]

Oh hey thanks @Former-Member I’ve been a bit absent!
Mr Cath was out of home for a few months so was just super busy (exhausted!). It actually gave me and mini Cath a real break. Both much happier and my own physical health vastly better. I also realised that he could cope alone and therefore when he came back I didn’t have to look after/shield him/ worry as much as I thought previously. I think he’d got used to me being the cheerleader and I realised I couldn’t be that 100% of the time or I was going to fall over. He’s been back about a month. Coincided with a change in meds so it’s up and down again. Sigh. Coming up to the anniversary of the attempt so I’m a bit nervous to be honest .
Mini Cath is brilliant 🙂
Hope you are well. It’s good to be back among friends.

[Former-Member]

@Cath22
Lovely to hear from you,
med changes = urgghhhh
Anniversaries can be delicate times. They had a topic Tuesday about carers and attempts, is in special events tab, felt a bit delicate after it as it was around our 2 year mark, it is quite emotive but there is a research survey you can participate in if you feel inclined

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member, @Cath22, @Faith-and-Hope, @quietscreams ,

to all our wonderful carers , love to hear from you all , I would tag you all here but my tagging is not working very good

[quietscreams]

Hi and Thankyou. Same to you and everyone. I haven’t been on here for quite some time.
An update, we are still going but things overall are better than they were. We are over the worse I think and hope. Our relationship is great again. My daughters anxiety is still present but she has enrolled in a course which she started but was unable to finish a few years ago. Her depression is still present but I see improvements and she has managed to have some outings and experiences that she was unable to do for quite some time. Her eating is more stable, although not perfect. She sleeps now which is wonderful but does have flashbacks and nightmares.
She has had many courses of ECTs which have helped to a degree but not fixed completely. We have changed hospitals and psychiatrist which are closer so we can take her home often when she’s in but she’s home now.
So things are not perfect but better than they were. It’s easy to accept things now as we are at that stage of managing okay.
We can talk openly regarding her mental issues and can laugh at things together. She owns it all and speaks out. No longer in a private world but open.

I hope this is encouraging to others who are still going through the worse of worse. Have hope.
I have the most beautiful daughter. She is sensitive and smart, full of empathy for others, appreciates us and those who support her. She has a precious soul with so many strengths.
Good luck to you all.

[Shaz51]

Hello @quietscreams, it is soo lovely to hear from you my friend

sending you and your family  loving hugs

it is soo good that your daughter is sharing with you , a journey together is soo much better

Ups and downs with my mr shaz , He shares a little bit with me but i think he is worried that his MI will affect me too much but i tell him that it is worse when he does not tallk to me about what he is going through as I start thinking i have done something

Hello @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member

[quietscreams]

Hi shaz51
That’s how it was with my daughter and I for some time. Trying to make them see that we are more affected by not knowing, is hard for them to understand. Plus they feel that they have no secrets and to “hand them all over” is to lose some control. Especially since they don’t feel as though they have any control at all. It’s their issues that control them but they need to be at a level to know that if they share their feelings, it gives them more control, not less.
My daughter still won’t share some things but we are mostly open and that’s enough for now. It takes so much time for them to trust again, even loved ones, when trust has been abused in the past by others. My daughter will state “that’s a trigger” but not what the trigger is caused by. I hope this all makes sense? We know some things so we just accept that and calm the situation so as not to alarm her. We just accept and tell her it’s okay.
She blocked us from being involved in meetings with her doctor or psychiatrist in the past but now we are allowed in. She gives instructions as to what is allowed to be talked about and what isn’t. As long as she speaks to professionals, we accept.
Any small step is triumphant.
Don’t give up hope. It’s taken a long time for us to get to this point.
I know how hard it is but hang in there.
She is so open now that she has openly stated that she wants to walk for a mental health fun run and many supporters have come forth to join her/us. We will be her team. I never thought this would ever happen but it has.
Just hope and believe that it will happen one day for you and your family.
Never give up hope. X