Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

helllloooooo @Former-Member 

great to hear from you

Been trying with varying degrees of success to step back being a carer.-- how is that going xxx

yes I am trying to get back into the gardens here , my mum and MIL both have green thumbs so they are happy for me , but sometimes too busy for self care sometimes , trying to find he right balance but i think i am getting there

[Shaz51]

Ohhhh @quietscreams, that is wonderful news

and a happy birthday to your daughter , hope she has a lovely day xoxo

Hope she likes the cake i made

@NikNik

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks so much @quietscreams ...... your post is timely for me .....

So pleased to hear all the positivity ......

Bless you, and I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday ......

💐💜💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member .... good to see you ......

I posted some herb garden pics on Far and Away thread last night if you're interested ..... I can tag you from there if you like.

[quietscreams]

Thankyou so much Faith-and-Hope.
I hope you're okay. Hang in there.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @quietsceams ..... it's getting rocky now, and is likely going to get worse ...... but our situation had to surface at some stage, and it is .... by degrees ..... with unexpected diagnoses involved already, without awareness of the e.d. out there yet .......

So good to hear other working within their diagnosis and positives emerging. Really helps to hear it.

❤️

[quietscreams]

I've been there many times so I understand where you're coming from. The unknown of a loved one in crisis puts a blockage on recovery. When you know what you're dealing with and can use appropriate terminology such as "a trigger", it helps a great deal. We've had a number of diagnosis which were hidden from us. It's counter productive to not know what you're dealing with. It is a coping mechanism for the one dealing with the issues though. They have to be ready for outage of their feelings etc. We still need to learn some things but have the full diagnosis now. It's taken 4 1/2 to 5 years but we got there. E.d. Comes from other sources. The puzzle is coming together for us - just a few more pieces. Patience is the only thing you can give, until you are "let in". Now I can give so much more and it's appreciated. Stay strong. Your time will come xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you @quietscreams ...... waiting is all I can do. I have put my hand up to every source of potential help I could. At least we have an entry point now to the understanding there are mental health issues involved.

It's been so hard sitting through 8 years of everyone around us offer accolades to WH over his "success" when it was undoing the rest of us at home ..... and feeding the invisible "monster" ...... argh ...... !!

While WH still has no understanding that his e.d. is an e.d. and his daily regimen is sinking our boat too, we can't even approach that one either .....

Hoping the psych has some answers for me this afternoon. It just feels like we are sitting ducks. My D3 is falling down with psychosomatic illness again. She will be at another pdoc before long if we don't achieve a rescue. I hope it doesn't ale much longer for the full crisis to become apparent.

[quietscreams]

I understand so much of what you're saying. I've had the frustration of a physical ailment in my daughter from birth which has not been diagnosed. There's been years of tests but the wrong tests as well as trying things to no avail. She had ultrasounds at 6 months old. It's a digestive problem. The eating disorder I feel, stemmed from it. Her eating has been a problem all her life but went completely out of control when teenagerisms hit and socialising. We only just managed to get a gastroscopy this week and wait for results. She denied the eating disorder to us and Psycologyst. It was hard to know for sure because of previous problems. I alerted psychiatrists when I knew for certain.
She finally talks about it now. I never thought I would see the day.
Food in this house is a major frustration of mine. I can't just cook and everyone eats. It's controlling all of us, this disorder. But to talk about in in a normal way, helps so much. It's a huge difference to when I look back.
I hope you get to that stage sooner than later. Honestly, we can even laugh about it with her now! And laughter is the best medicine. It helps in the hardest of situations. It has to be at a time when the person is laughing with you though and it's not mean at all.
To be able to laugh at oneself is a link to accepting oneself. Accepting oneself is a link to loving oneself.

[Faith-and-Hope]

@quietscreams ..... it is soooo good to hear from someone on the other side of the Abyss of No Insight ..... and hear about what life can be like ..... somewhere in my mind I know we will be there one day.  I hope it's not much further away.  I have given up swimming now that S2's pdoc is involved and we have a part-diagnosis at least .... trusting that the rest will come out progressively now .... so I am just floating on this tide .... resting ....

💜