When it comes to helping our loved ones, using non confrontational or motivational communication can be difficult but it can also be successful, this involves fostering empathy, waiting for expressions of the need for personal wellness/well-being, growth/independence and building on these. This might include saying "we are in this together" ... "Am hearing you, it sucks having to take meds and I know you don't want to end up in hospital again, there are things we can do to avoid this" ... "What is concerning you the most about taking these meds, can we help you with ways you can discuss this with your pdoc to see what can be done about this as it is important that any changes are made in consultation with him/her" ... "Adulting is hard, this is what adults do"... "While you were in hospital I did a bit of research for you and came across this that helped us understand your condition a little more and found out that in addition to meds, xy + z can help you manage your condition a lot better. Would you be willing to see if it makes a difference for you?" "You want to be able to buy this, let's see if we can help you get a budget/ savings plan in place so you can achieve this goal"
There are a number of ways that one can phrase boundaries that show you care, this might include a phrases such as "because we love you we can no longer participate in doing things that we believe are detrimental to you being a responsible adult" ... and ... "The way we have been doing things is clearly not working and changes need to be made which may be difficult at first" ... and ... "As an adult the choice is yours, we are not forcing you to live here, but if you want to continue to do so ...."
Note: these conversations rarely go smoothly but practicing them with potential rebuffs can be useful, persistence is necessary.
