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Screamqueen
Casual Contributor

Sister with undiagnosed BPD possible narcissistic traits

I have had my sister living with me for the last 3 years. I bought a house to create a safe space for us as she could not live with anyone else and had nowhere else to go. The entire time has been a constant battle and it is now at the point where I am moving out of my own home. Nothing I do/say to her helps and she does not see that she has a possible mental health issue. I am starting to resent her and I feel awful for that but I am at my wits end. I am also dealing with my dog passing away and I just cannot be at home. I really feel stuck and also angry. I am not an angry person at all! Is leaving her alone going to help her see a few things differently? I am 100% her outlet for anything that goes wrong in her life... 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Sister with undiagnosed BPD possible narcissistic traits

Hello @Screamqueen  so sorry to hear your doggy passed away, and after what you said on your post your a beautiful sister to look after your family like this

good on you your a kind person

from Clawde 

Re: Sister with undiagnosed BPD possible narcissistic traits

Ooooo...hugs to you @Screamqueen . 

From a borderline's perspective, I can see that your sister has a very strong tie with you, and that's why she tends to hurt you the most. As ironic as it sounds, pwBPD mostly hurt those closest to them. There's so much love and attachment, that there's also a strong emotional link. You then be some thier sounding-board.

 

I guess the hardest part is your sister not recognising there is something wrong. I'm so sorry to hear things are so tough that you've felt the need to move out. And I'm sorry to hear about your dog. Do you have any supports for yourself? It would be great if you could talk to a trained therapist who could perhaps help you deal with your own grief, as well as provide strategies in relation to your sister. Unless your sister can "see", it is difficult to force treatment on her. The main thing is, you need to remember to care for yourself first.....i.e put on your own oxygen mask, before you assist anyone else.

 

Please look after yourself, and continue to reach out. Underneath the BPD is a beautiful, warm, caring and loving sister. We just need to help her grow to find it.

 

BPDSurvivor

Re: Sister with undiagnosed BPD possible narcissistic traits

Thanks for sharing with us all @Screamqueen 

I'm sorry to hear about your pup. Our pets really are our lights in dark times. Heart

It sounds like a really tough situation. As @BPDSurvivor put it so well, it can be so tough when someone doesn't realise there is a problem. It's really hard for those closest to us.

As a fellow BPDer, I can be at my most out of control with the people I care about most. Partially because I test their love. But also because I know (read: THINK) they can 'take it'. Now I realise just how challenging my behaviour was and sometimes still is for them.

But unfortunately, there is only so much you can do for someone who is not ready to help themselves. Which is why, once again deferring to some of the wisdom seen above, I recommend prioritising your own wellbeing as much as you can. 🙂

Go well 
- periwinklepixie

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