Overwhelmed -very recent Bipolar Spectrum Disorder diagnosis for 16 yr old daughter

[TJ68]

Hi everyone, 

my beautiful, kind and loving daughter was diagnosed with BSD last week by her psychiatrist. She has been on anti-depressants since October 2022 and we have seen a huge change, she is in contact with a psychologist and feels supported by them. I was in contact with a psychologist late last year, who explained things to me and I will contact them again asap to further help me support my daughter.

Just after Xmas, there was a change and she became more depressed and sleeping more. That's when we made another appointment and she was diagnosed and is still on the antidepressants, but other medication to help support her.

Her psychologist has put me onto the SANE site and I am currently reading all that I can on Bipolar, but it is confusing as I am unsure if my daughter has Bipolar I or II as her diagnosis states 'Spectrum'. Therefore I am focusing on the areas that relate to her as I have not witnessed any manic moods.

At the moment, when my daughter says that she is tired and wants to go bed, I support her decision. She is open and honest with both myself and my husband. We also have a couple of close friends who have been supportive.

I understand this is all very early days, my daughter has been happy to work in her part-time job and she says that she is happy to return to school, she is in year 12. I've been encouraging her to exercise and socialise with her friends, but do not push it.

Any feedback from others who have been/are going through something similar is really, really appreciated.

[Former-Member]

hey @TJ68, welcome to the forums. I hope the reading you've been doing has been great and I hope you find the rest of the community really supportive too ❤️ I'm one of the peer workers here, it's nice to e-meet you. 

Firstly, I can only imagine what a stressful time this has been for all of you. Your daughter is so lucky to have a parent who is SO supportive. It sounds like you have a strong relationship and are doing so many great things to support her so far including encouraging her to recognise her needs and boundaries but also to do some things which help like exercise and socialising. It sounds like you're also looking for more information on your daughters experience of BSD. Have you spoken with her about it? 

Secondly, I thought I'd tag a few of our carer/family/friends on here who probably have some very wise words! Hello @tired_sisyphus @Determined @Krishna. If you jump into the Daily Check In Space and tag some people with an "@", it's always a nice place to bump int people.

Thirdly, while I don't have BSD, I have ADHD and it impacts my life A LOT. I used to demonise my diagnosis a lot but I'm slowly learning to accept it and even work with it. I think crucial to that has been following social media accounts by people with lived experience. There is an educator in instagram called the Lived Experience Educator on Instagram and they have a website (here is a link to their blogs). I think for me, connecting to accounts like that have helped me to feel less ashamed and embarrassed about my brain, and actually work with it. Anywho, I recommend following a bunch of them!

Welcome agin!

[David_888]

@TJ68 

People do not have disorders. 

There are forces which go against us everyday. 

And it's a matter of how well they get through them.

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @TJ68 It must be very overwhelming and stressful to learn but hopefully it provides some guidance and you get some support as a result. I applaud you for reaching out and doing your own research. They are lucky to have you 😊

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @TJ68,

My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is nice to have you with us. 

I just finished reading your post and I wanted to reach out to you because I have a close family member who was diagnosed around 20 years ago with Bipolar I and I am their only support person (outside their professional team). I am by no means an expert on Bipolar but as a carer that has been on this rollercoaster ride alongside my family member I have had an insight into Bipolar first hand. In the initial stages (before my family member was diagnosed) their moods were erratic and confusing for my family member and myself. After diagnosis, finding the right medication, the right type of therapies etc my family member's situation improved a lot. 

From my family member's experience a lot of their tiredness initially was due to the wide mood swings and the medication. As the mood swings stabilised and the medication started to work things improved for them around the lack of energy and the desire to sleep a lot. 

I think it's wonderful that you all have a trusting relationship as I think that can be key to your daughter sharing her truth, feeling safe, validated and understood. I think this will also allow your daughter to feel vulnerable which is so important as a young adult (I have two young adult children and a 12 year old).

I think it's great that you are reaching out to others that may be able to help through their own lived experience. I think it's important (if your daughter is up to it) to continue doing things that are part of her everyday routine such as school, work, socialising. What I tell people if they ask about my family member's Bipolar is that that is what they were diagnosed with it isn't who they are. I really like the quote from Shrek that people are like onions - your daughter is all those amazing things you mentioned and Bipolar is another layer but it doesn't define her.

I would also encourage you and your husband to get support as being a carer (for whatever reason someone may be a carer) can be a very draining and lonely place. I really believe that carers need to be cared for too. When I was first caring for my family member I completely forgot about myself and my needs until my family member's psychiatrist asked me who was looking out for me. 

Here is a link on some information for carers and families Carers and Families.

I wish you, your daughter and your husband all the best - I understand the initial diagnosis can be overwhelming but from experience Bipolar is very manageable with a lot of good support and professional help.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather 

[Dominique21]

Your daughter is going through major changes -being in Yr12 and the stresses it brings and having to deal with a diagnosis as well! Be there for her and love her the way you do.

[TJ68]

Thank you!!! Your support means alot xx

[TJ68]

Will do xx thank you!

[TJ68]

Thank you!!!! I have taken on board everything you have said xx I'm feeling so much more positive and appreciate how knowledge, understanding and support is the key. My beautiful girl teaches me sooo much...she always has and she inspires me to be a better person.

[TJ68]

Thankyou! Your support and encouragement means everything! I am feeling so more positive about things! x