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MsManaged
Contributor

How to get adult daughter care she needs???

 

IMO my daughter has been miss managed & diagnosed incorrectly her whole 27 yrs. From asthma at 6mths old to being told ODD, ADHD, Thyroid, bipolar, obstructive sleep apnea, ptsd, pcos, agoraphobia & fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety & more. She used to self-harm as a teen. She's thankfully not ever abused alcohol or drugs until recently smokes a small amount at end of the day. 

I believe she is also a hoarder & compulsive shopper. She is beyond untidy & unorganised & more. 

 

As well her own diagnosis of manic moments & believing she has autism spectrum disorder in fact she claims I probably have that also. 

 

I recently came back from a week stay interstate, because I have COPD she said she had a bit of a cold (C19 neg) & could I stay at a friends for a day or two. 

 

Next morning she called & told me she was going to have herself committed to the psych ward. 

 

I accepted this. However extremely frustrated & feeling selfish that I was unable to share my tales about my trip away started calling help lines. 

 

Beyond blue was all of 30mins & done & offered nothing.

Lifeline their 13 11 14 number i was constantly told your call can not be connected. 

I attempted their txt line & while the lady txt'n me was nice I just didn't have in me to type & correct any auto predictive txt errors.

I then tried MHERL telling them I knew they weren't the correct people they gave me Here For You number & the were fantastic & the gave me Opening Doors number.

 

I called Opening Doors Wednesday. By now it had been 5hrs since my daughter informed me she wanted to go to hospital. Opening Doors im just waiting to hear back about a Carer program. And by now I've also calmed down about feeling selfish as well I could think clearer on what to do next for my child.

 

Her GP sent a referral as URGENT in patient to our local hospital. It was end of the day so hospital left a msg with my daughter to call in the morning. 

 

She called & was told a MH Triage nurse would call her back shortly. That was 9am. By 2pm feeling annoyed I wanted to call hospital myself but daughter said she would.  She was informed her referral was denied/refused. Daughter told me the reason given was because it came from GP not psychiatrist. 

 

Several has later daughter said she was getting friend to take her to Fiona Stanley hospital. 

 

They had to do RAT test naturally after over of waiting my daughter asked if all was ok to the staff, the staff had spelt her surname wrong & that's why she hadn't been given all clear cause they were looking for wrong person!

 

At 2am she had finally left the waiting room & at 7am (yesterday) she was told they would admit her, but since not her area they would transfer her to Rockingham or Fremantle when a bed opened up. 

 

By end of yesterday that changed to they'll keep her for 3 days & then probably discharge her even though she won't be seeing a Dr until Monday.  

 

She is showing signs of age regression. She presented to the hospital with that as well suicidal thoughts.

 

What i desperately hope for is that they keep her for several weeks do intense therapy & as her GP suggested take her off all meds & start again. 

 

We live together but I'm no longer coping with the disgusting living standards, I can no longer keep up with it & she has hissy fit if I try cleaning up her things or tidy any one of 3 rooms in our house. Her every conversation about triggers & traumas, telling me at least once a day i need therapy, her flashbacks are increasing only to watch her go off & either sleep, sit on her phone or go rescue a friend who is suffering a trigger moment. 

 

Please know i do not mean to sound dismissive of any of the above I have had my share of therapy in the past for my own things... I'm just very tired & the idea the system will fail my family again by sending her home with no follow up is overwhelming. 

 

I'm hoping some one reading this will be able to offer a whole list of places, buzzwords that get hospital attention, etc.

 

Thank you for just reading this.

 

2 REPLIES 2

Re: How to get adult daughter care she needs???

Hey @MsManaged 

Welcome to the Forums! I hope that you are able to gain some good support here. 

First of all - I have to acknowledged how incredibly hard you have worked here for your daughter. You have truly taken all of the "right" steps and it can be incredibly frustrating when it feels like you are still not getting the support that you need right now. Unfortunately, there are so many others here that can relate to that same feeling. 

 

I wish so much that I could give you the perfect solution to what you are going through right now, but I hope that some of the following resources can be helpful:

 

Carer's Rights WA

(including long list of supports)

 

MIFWA: Mental Illness Fellowship of Western Australia - Carer Support

 

Carers WA

 

I will also recommend the SANE Support Centre, too, for both support and information. Open Mon-Fri 10am-10pm and available via phone (1800 187 263) and webchat. 

 

 

I hope this can be in some way helpful for you. You have worked so hard for your daughter and are clearly a powerful advocate, even if the system can make you feel pretty hopeless sometimes. 

 

Sitting with you here 💛

 

 

Kind regards

Peregrinefalcon

Re: How to get adult daughter care she needs???

 

Thanks @Peregrinefalcon for your kind words & for your honesty. 

 

Those links will keep me busy by the looks of it & it certainly beats the feeling of sitting on my hands & doing nothing over the weekend. 

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