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worried

Community Guide

Re: worried

my darling friend @outlander 

Im not looking at other messages except my post because its too hard except this one because I have so much to share with you. 

 

What is saving me from complete falling over the edge is University studies. Its easier to grab and easy to just work out how to plan assignments.

 

Art is fantastic to hold onto.

getting this wide range of support in people is important. me and my hubby, have found the most conservative but incredibly kind people in a very small church down the street from us. They are also a little bit strange.........

Iget a caring agency to give me a carer....I kept on seeing the carers until I met the one I needed and we meditate twice per week.......

you may well be burnt out. xxx

Senior Contributor

Re: worried

Thank you and i very much understand not reading other posts @PeppiPatty

Thank you very much for your support and advice.
I would love to study again but finances are really tight atm and have had to take on a second job to cover costs for now.

Your carer sounds like a peer suppoet worker. Im not entitled to one of those but perhaps i could get something similar through carers aust......


@Appleblossom thank you so much for your support too. I dont want to seem imcompetent in the housework etc though its difficult with my hand injury atm
My mum occassionally helps with the cleaning though so im grateful for that.
Maybe abit of support wouldnt go astray though...
Community Guide

Re: worried

Dearest @outlander my hex bill is huge. WE have no money, we LIVE at the financial advisers....

No it's not a peer support worker, actually I get a carer who usually works with Government provided carers for elderly and for the occasional visit to people with disabilities. I just kept on plugging on until I met someone I liked and asked her if we could spend our time not cleaning or watching dvds but meditating. 

Please try and get a carers Aust. Carer, that sounds good. You just gotta work with them what you need.......

You have helped me so so much

 

@Appleblossom is a cherub

@Shaz51 is my special friend

@Bella1978 is wonderful and creative.

@Faith-and-Hope is extraordinarily empathetic

 

Senior Contributor

Re: worried

Oh ok @PeppiPatty im not sure ill be elidgeable for that as im younger but perhaps they could still help with a support worker or some sort.

Im really glad youve found someone that suits you. She sounds loveley ❤

Youve helped me so much too, thank you my dear friend
Dec
Senior Contributor

Re: worried

Hi @outlander

 

I will give a brief answer tonight - to keep tagged - and maybe write more tomorrow

 

It's hard for you being a carer so young - and I understand your Pop getting irritated - one reason I like to live alone - but what about you

 

Partly it's your age and partly that you have never had the chance to live your own life - you have been too busy caring for other people for a long time now

 

One thing I can suggest tonight is to get onto one of the TV networks, 10, 9, 7 - I have seen current events sections where there have been young people - even as children - taking on the role of carer - and it would be good if you could be with other people around your age doing what you do - 

 

It's hard work - I hope to catch up tomorrow

 

 

Great suggestions @PeppiPatty@Appleblossom@Bella1978@Faith-and-Hope

 

Dec

 

Senior Contributor

Re: worried

Hi @Dec and thank you

Yes i think your right in more ways than one. The joys of growing up fast hey.

Thank you ill take a look. Im linked in with young carers but when i read there stories my role that i play now seems very insignificant. If i was doing the same for pop that i was doing for my nan i might be more comfortable in doing that. Atm all it seems im doing is watching waiting organising and listening
Dec
Senior Contributor

Re: worried

That's good @outlander - I am hoping contact with other people your own age will work and nothing is trivial - it is always hard

 

Dec

Senior Contributor

Re: worried

Thanks @Dec much appreciative of your help ❤
Senior Contributor

Re: worried

@outlander

Hey sweetheart, sorry I haven’t responded to this thread until now. Haven’t been online the past couple of days. How are you feeling today luv?

 

I know how you feel about feeling lost when being a carer, I feel like my life is in a rut and it worries me to think what the future holds for me. I try not to think about it but I know its not healthy for me. I see myself getting older and where im at in my life, and where others my age are at in their lives.

 

You and I both battle mental illness as well so we end up using more energy to try and keep it together and keep on top of things!!

 

Being a carer can be isolating as well luv, and not knowing what kind of day your pop will be having adds to your stress, the uncertainty of it all, plus having to contend with your own health issues luv. I started doing my mosaicing again but sometimes its just too hard to keep up with our own interests – it is very important to do so though.

 

From what I have learnt about you through these forums I have no doubt in my mind that you are a loving, compassionate and very patient carer for your pop. But I totally understand that you are guessing yourself. what is the possibility that your pop could go into residential respite? Even for a week, just to give you a break?

 

I know ive suggested this before, ie getting an ACAT assessment and you don’t think you would need extra assistance but honestly luv, it does make a difference. You are doing things for your pop that he cant do for himself. But you could have someone come in and lighten the load for you. I really wish you would consider it luv. I used to be like you, thinking I don’t need anyone to help me, I don’t really do that much. I think we underestimate how much we really do for our loved one. Something tells me that you underestimate how much you do. And I wouldn’t be surprised if you were burnt out luv. you care for your pop but also play a big role in your sister’s lives. Im glad you have increased your self care but I think some assistance would benefit you greatly. Since mum has been in hospital, our domestic help has been suspended. I am really missing it! we would have someone come once a fortnight and do basic cleaning, and gardening done every couple of months.

 

Please look into getting some help caring for your pop luv. you are very young and have taken on huge responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with asking for help xxx

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Senior Contributor

Re: worried

Thank you @Bella1978