Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member Its especially hard in a spousal relationship, if you feel put in the role of med overseer.  Its the "lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink" scenario. 

I have enough difficulty in that role as a mum.  

I think if they get bull headed ... all one can do is love them ... maybe they will experiment ... maybe its temporary ... try not to get extra anxious ...

there is a limit to what you can do.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

There are many reasons why patients refuse treatment.

Medications cannot be forced.

What you can do is listen, confirm with hubby that you have understood him correctly - that he will not take his meds for reasons a,b & c.   that you feel they are helping, that you respect his decision but if he changes his mind to let you know by whatever time is appropriate for dosing. Asking him if it would be helpful to have an appointment to be able to understand  why the docs have prescribed the meds as he was quite unwell when they were started .

Another thing you can do is keep calmly asking him to take his meds. Ask again in the morning,  as @Appleblossom says, he may change his mind.   If he refuses, again let him know you feel it important he take them and let him know a time frame in case he changes his mind.

 If you are able to, can phone the hospital and ask for advice?  Letting his treating team or GP know of this development asap would be wise.

I hope you are making progress in your own recovery.

[Faith-and-Hope]

While my own hubby is still not diagnosed, and “self-medicating” on eating disordered behaviours, I have settled for keeping things as settled as I can, having experienced panic attacks myself in response to his bad-tempered behaviour when his “life-balance” is criticised or questioned in any way.  Sometimes that is all we can do, other than reaching out to medical professionals and support services.

My son is on AD’s but as they are supposed to be taken at the same time every day, and his sleep cycles go wonky periodically owing to stressors, this means he doesn’t wake up / can’t be woken in time to take the medications, and pushing him or trying to manipulate or control him even in the most positive terms, is simply making it worse.

What makes it not-worse is being calm and sensible around him .... keeping the world for the rest of us right-way-up and with a sense of routine, so it’s only S2 and hubby that are in fluctuations (sometimes Daughter 3 too, but she has settled a lot more on AD’s herself).

When so much seems out of their control, and they are a person who needs to feel in control of their world, they will choose actions like this to feel re-empowered, and the more you contest it, the more they feel the need to challenge and defy you .... you being the medication-bearer / routine-keeper / appointment-maker and whatever other role they are struggling accept.

Please take care of yourself .... you matter too ....

💜💐

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Though I have no words, I want to let you know I'm sitting with you, looking at the stars, doing the simplest of things for you. No matter what you might be feeling, you are enough. 💜💕💛🕷🐞🐝🐜🐛the bugs are a thing between CheerBear and bella 3 a typo error. Hugs and hugs= bugs and hugs!!!

[outlander]

Thinking of you @Former-Member in both your caring roles and your own mh recovery 💕

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @outlander I very much appreciate your support, advice and insight.

Its just so hard when you know that his decisions and obstinacy (to not take mefs) is very genuinely putting his life at risk.

Some good news today is that when I handed hubby his morning meds he grudgingly took them. And also allowed me to give him his morning injection. Same tonight.

So I guess he feels he has exerted his authority now and is in control of whether or when he will take the meds. I dont care about the reasons, the important thing is that he is now taking his life saving meds again. Plus his ADs, which are very definitely needed right now, given his increasingly depressed state. For now, I'm much relieved.

Sherry 💕

[outlander]

Thats really good @Former-Member im glad he ia accepting them more now. Its hard when the stubborn streak comes out. Your doing the best you can though and thats what matters 💕

[Former-Member]

Relief ... sending gentle thoughts your way @Former-Member 

[Maggie]

Small steps are better than none eh. Accepting his meds is really good. Such a weight off your shoulders @Former-Member. Do you see your psych this week?? Having someone to talk to would be helpful for you. I hope so anyway. 💕💜💛

[Former-Member]

Hi @Maggie and thanks. Yes I see my psych on Friday. She doest normally work on Fridays, leaving it for admin. But being away last Thursday, she had to fit in a few 'urgent' appointments. I agree that it will be helpful to talk to her.

Another beaut winter morning here. Crystal clear, everything sparkly, bright blue sky, not a breath of wind.

Sherry 😀