Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[billybutton]

Hi @Shaz51. I'm so glad you reached out. Dementia can be such a roller coaster. So many changes and challenges with regulating emotions that naturally impact our own emotional state when supporting a loved one. I hope you have some supports around you and you're mum to help you both through. Along with finding small moments to yourself to recharge where you can to get through this journey. Were here for you @Shaz51.

[Sophia1]

Yes @Shaz51 

talking to her doctor soon is wise..

she will not like it ...she really does not like where she is at the moment either...so you are helping her even if it does not feel that way...even if she does not politely thank you either..

you are looking after yourself as well as mum and Mr Shaz at the same time..

you are also using your boundaries..

let the medical staff do their part as well..

I want to tell you also that you really are doing a wonderful job..

as others have said be there for you at the same time..

💛

[Anastasia]

Oh @Shaz51 

It's no wonder you are feeling this way, that is emotionally very difficult seeing your darling Mum deteriorate 😔

I am so sorry sweetheart, your dear Mum and then Mr Shaz not coping. Deep breaths Shaz, a cuppa and some, well lots of self care.

You are amazing with all that life throws you. I'm sending you a truck load of love, hugs, strength and whatever you need to navigate these treacherous times xoxo

🌸🌹💕🌻💞🤗

[Shaz51]

Thank you @billybutton ,  @Sophia1 , @Emelia8 

Yes I will need to talk to a doctor  about mum , I know she will be very upset and angry 

And this week has been a bad week for Mr shaz , every thing seemed to go wrong for him that he wanted to give up 

[Smc]

Hugs @Shaz51.

I think I feel it the most over how much my Dad has changed as his memory has gotten hazier when I think back to old memories of him. Lots of love, it's not easy.

The things that really stick in the minds of someone with memory loss are the ones that are repeated. So when I talk to Dad, I'll fit in "love you lots" reminders as often as possible. Wondering if there's any simple messages, verbal or visual, that would make your Mum feel more secure and that could be repeatedly reinforced?

[billybutton]

Oh @Shaz51 it sounds like it's been a hard week for you all. You seem like a caring person that holds a lot for those around you. I'm glad you can connect in this space for yourself. That sounds like a good idea to check in with you're mums Dr to share the load you and your family are carrying. GP's can refer to Geriatrician or my aged care depending on her age and care needs. Is there anything you feel like you need at the moment? Sending you care @Shaz51.

[outlander]

dementia is a super hard thing @Shaz51 thinking of you

[Shaz51]

Thank you @outlander , @billybutton , @Smc ❤

Everything is  ok tonight as everyone has had a bath and we are all fed 

Relaxing now watching a show  on the laptop and Mum is watching tv nice a extra loud and swearing at everything 

It is hard trying to find a nice balance all the time 

I have cancelled my specialist appointments until October 

[Shaz51]

I agree  @Smc 

And I think changing downstairs in to mum's new bedroom is going to be a challenge as the steps into the house is getting too hard for her 

[billybutton]

Absolutely, the carer balance is always needing review with things forever changing. It can feel hard to privilige our own needs, but it's always helpful to ensure you're ok. I'm glad you've all had food and spending time watching some TV. Take care @Shaz51, go gently