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I need a mediator

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New Contributor

I need a mediator

I was last here as Sharona in 2015. My son has not had any professionalhelp in a very long time as in years. A coupLe of attempts when I  played games to get him to emergency. No help comes of it. He has serious issues but believes they are symptoms of other health issues. Staff at Sutherland suggested he has health delusions. He hasn't left the house in a very long time. I just can't post the whole story right now. No spirit left. But I need help to get him to get help. I am personally unable to keep going. But I am stuck . He is barely functioning. Once diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. I need a person to work with me here. He will not listen to me and I can not deal with the aggression. It's complicated. All I can say is I am very aware that he is at the end and I am close behind. I need someone who can come to my house and really help move something forward. 

4 REPLIES
Community Guide

Re: I need a mediator

Hello @Sharona1, and welcome back to the forum 

I see you have your earlier thread which tells your story a few years ago 

sending you hugs Heart

@Appleblossom@Crazy_Bug_Lady

Community Elder

Re: I need a mediator

Hello @Sharona1

I am sorry you are exhausted and at your wits end. 

Smiley Sad

Try and link into something local that will attend in the home.  

Neami visited me in my home and that helped a great deal. My adult son and I had been a bit isolated and he was avoiding services too. Personally I did not find the CATT protocol helpful for my son, so I took on being a patient myself.

With all the hoo ha about transition to NDIS I dont know what is available but maybe present at an office/clinic in person, yourself.

Have you got a a good GP?

That is what I had to do.

New Contributor

Re: I need a mediator

Appleblossom

 

I have not had any help over the years from Mental Health teams either. There is virtually no help for carers of people with serious mental health issues who do not have real awareness and therefore do not accept help. The reason they choose not to accept help is generally due to their mental illness combined with the fact that they do not get help from the services we struggle to send them to. I see the govt just gave lots of money to mental health but it will not be used as carers suggest. It will not be used for the serioosly sick people living in homes with unsupported carers. They save a lot of money closing mental hospitals but haven't used  it to provide non-institutional facilities. The govt has also provided money to research what carers need. Perhaps they could just read these forums! 

Your idea about approaching mental services as the person needing help is an interesting one.

In fact I really do have mental illness myself. This is common Im sure among long term carers. Living with someone who is telling me he's dying and watching his functional decline but not being able to do anything is the worst environment for someone with Panic disorder- me. 

This system is so wrong.

I went to carers nsw conference last week. Learnt there are many programs that I was unaware of. Also  learnt the govt is talking up carer strategies and throwing money at research. I am afraid this will be money mostly wasted. They do not want to provide the services needed. They just want to be seen to be doing some bandaid work. Carers of those with Mental illness are in a category of their own. No carer of a person with any other debilitating illness at such a serious level would be expected to  just work out what to do from a website for years as the person is lost. 

I am angry. Officials use those with mental illness' lack of awareness of the need for help as an excuse to do nothing. Reverse human rights. I choose to send my son to a quality holistic healing person-centred facility for those suffering mental illness. Where is this place? I choose the at home support of qualified person centred  therapists . Where can I find them?

I should be able to access this. We all should. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Community Elder

Re: I need a mediator

I hear your anger about our MH system. @Sharona1 

It feeds into my own anger and my grief. It is alright mostly I am managing it and probably every now and then need to be reminded.

Yes they closed a MH hospital and ejected my brother from a local Emergency Dept all on the same week that my brother suicided.  It was disgraceful and unprofesisonal ....

I am not reccomending you be inauthentic. 30 years ago I used to visit my siblings in hospital and wished I had some attention for my own struggles, but I am an oldest and I muddled on.I was not too proud to accept help and patiently tried to access it here and there for me, for them and for my son.

At the moment I am feeling supported, but I told my young GP, when she said better late than never. It should not have taken over 20 years and 2 deaths.

I sat down on a busy road and finally got some attention. I had been too polite. Yes after managing people with serious MH issues the PTSD accrues and wallah ... now I can say to my son ... see I almost have the same Dx as you ...apparently it is (BiPolar with mixed features) I have never been concerned who has a label in a form of stigma.  Its about appropriate care for person in appropriate situation.  We love our kids and family.