I can’t cope

[tyme]

I think trauma can cause our brains to flip from black to white. My psych used to do a lot of work with me to see the 'grey'. 

For example, I was never allowed to use the word "but", and had to use "AND" as a way to re teaching my brain that both things can sit together concurrently, and it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Our brains are interesting things @Captain24 

[Captain24]

I have a long way to go for that! @tyme. Maybe my psych sessions will work on things like that after I come of these meds. She treating me with more compassion right now, helping me get through. Except for the chair work that bought me unstuck! 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 nah not upset. Like @tyme I understand what it is like to be in the midst of intense rejection sensitivity. Hence why I am happy to reassure you - I am glad you said something! Better that than you suffering in silence, always 😉

Yes, tomorrow 😊💜

Rest well tonight! 🫂

[tyme]

Yeah, whilst in a heightened state, it's not wise to focus on recovery work @Captain24 . You know best, so please speak up when you need to about what you feel you can and can't do.

Anyway, I'm off now. I'll see you Sunday if you are around. Then I won't be on Sundays for the next 2 weeks or so.

I'll see you when I see you.

[Captain24]

Thanks for tonight @tyme @Jynx 

I actually feel a little better than I have for 2 weeks. 

Talk soon

[Captain24]

Started the day right. I did 2 loads of washing, got rid of all the rubbish in the kitchen. Had breakfast which is a massive achievement. Now I have lost my get up and go. Not sure I can push myself any further right now. I was going to try and have a day outta bed but now I don’t think I’m able to. Maybe a nap is ok and I’ll wake up with more motivation to keep doing things. I have a huge list that I want to get done over the next 2 days. 

[Jynx]

That get-up-n-go can be so elusive at times hey @Captain24!! 

But having a lil nap n recharge is a great idea! I don't think anyone can sustain 100% effort towards tasks the whole dang day, and that goes triple for those of us who are also working on...you know, just keeping afloat!! 

[Captain24]

It’s so annoying @Jynx the next thing I have to do is dishes and I just don’t want to. All it is is a fry pan and a couple of bottles so it’s not even that hard. I’ve walked past them so many times. 

Yeah I defs don’t have 100% in me at the moment but at least I am trying. 

Oh. I did a spontaneous thing and organised lunch with mum and dad on Monday for Pix’s birthday! 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 that's SUCH a big mood 😅 the walking past? oh man lol that is ME. 

A meme for us? 🤣

Yes!! Darlin you are out here trying every single day. Even those days you feel like you're putting no effort in - it's cos all the effort has gone into surviving that day. 

Oh cuuute!! How old is Pix turning now? You gonna get her a little doggie cake? Or just a bone to chew on maybe? Hehehe aww yay!

[Captain24]

That meme is so me!! @Jynx Ive walked past them again to get to my room and now im curled up in bed. I did get the washing off the line though. Sometimes I don’t see the point in taking it out there I only bring it back in to hang inside to dry. 

I’ve been trying to do something everyday even if it’s just a little task or two. I dont think there has been a day when I haven’t done anything. 

She will be 6. I’ll get some cupcakes from woollies for them, get her a card and a couple of toys and wrap them. They can also have a treat. Lunch will be hot chips cause they are her favourite! I might have to make a trip out to the cheap shop and find her some toys. It’s about a 20 minute drive. 

It’s not her birthday until Wednesday but I’ll be at work and have appointments on Tuesday.