Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Bandit1]

Hi all,I'm back,after a few stress filled months moving house.My son had fuel poured on him and set alight,he has 75% 3rd degree burns and all the baggage that goes with trauma.He has also suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and it's been very difficult to get him the help he needs.He self harms,and is occaisionally suicidal.I contacted Fluresco here in our area and he has had his first appointment for assessment but we weren't given another appointment as yet,she said she would get back to us when one became available.I am so frustrated that I can't get him the help he needs because they are so booked up.No one can see him.Mental health said he needs to be in dire straits before they see him......in other words,causing himself harm.I have depression myself and can't look after my own health because of the worry and stress of looking after him.Does any one have any ideas?

Thanks.

[Former-Member]

---

@Bandit1 wrote:

Hi all,I'm back,after a few stress filled months moving house.My son had fuel poured on him and set alight,he has 75% 3rd degree burns and all the baggage that goes with trauma.He has also suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and it's been very difficult to get him the help he needs.He self harms,and is occaisionally suicidal.I contacted Fluresco here in our area and he has had his first appointment for assessment but we weren't given another appointment as yet,she said she would get back to us when one became available.I am so frustrated that I can't get him the help he needs because they are so booked up.No one can see him.Mental health said he needs to be in dire straits before they see him......in other words,causing himself harm.I have depression myself and can't look after my own health because of the worry and stress of looking after him.Does any one have any ideas?

Thanks.

---

Hello @Bandit1

I have read your post a couple of times and thought I have noting to offer.

i read through some of your previous posts to try and find a trail.

your son has been through an undeniably horrific ordeal.

he is still here, miraculously.

no small wonder then that he has all of the symptoms in the heading.

no surprise also that you are unwell also and your husband is at his wits end.

it sounds as though your son is sick of medical systems.

i feel very angry that he can't get help because they are all booked up.

would your own gp or therapist agree to a joint appointment to discuss the lack of help and some options your son might agree to?

i also think that you should not wait any longer for the person to get back to you, ring her again and be assertive...things have worsened and lay it on.

are you a member of carers mental health Australia ? Call them for options

i have a son diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, not on any treatment, hiding in another state from govt depts and past people in his life. I have phoned several different places.

I too have major depression and anxiety so can relate to that part. I am not giving up on my son. I am also angry with medical system or failure of said system in this state I am looking into other depts too.

you do need self care get help from carers Australia keep trying different organisations for you and your son don't give up but know when to rest

have you talked to sane?

i wanted for you to have someone to at least respond.

an @Former-Member should be along also

keep on writing if only to vent 

let us know updates

you are a wonderful mum who loves her beautiful son...that I resonate strongly with

take care xx

[marchhare]

Hi Bandit1, welcome back to the forums. It sounds as if you have had the most traumatic of experience with your son. I can understand your frustration with the inadeqaucy of the help available and, of course, it will be affecting your own health. I am sure the forum members will offer you comfort, good advice and support.

Marchhare

[Former-Member]

@Bandit1

dont know if you have already tried any of these

I just keep pushing buttons to get answers and find out about little groups that I have never heard of

http://www.neaminational.org.au/get-support/contact-us  03 8691 5300

https://www.australiacounselling.com.au/news/top-mental-health-organisations/

I am not sure which state you are in.

keep on writing

[Former-Member]

@Bandit1

found this, do you think your son might be interested in looking at this site

I know my older son would but not my younger son

http://marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/Kilgrave_Victim_Support_Group

let me know if I am overstepping the mark and giving too much information or details that you have already looked into.

I just feel so much for all of you and am so angry that you are not getting support at all at the moment by the sounds of it, let alone not enough.

@NikNik I promise to get off of my soapbox but surely we can help somehow!! any ideas???

thanks in advance xx

[NikNik]

@Bandit1 how frustrating!
I'm not sure if you have already connected with the following services yet, but they are worth trying:

Most states have a brach of Mental Health Carers Org - so try googling that with your state. It might go by ARAFMI as well.

In each state there is also a brach of Mental Illness Fellowship - so also google that and include your state.

I hope this and/or the suggestions from @Former-Member are helpful.

And of course these forums are always available to let off steam, vent, get support and/or just have a chat with others in the same boat.
Best wishes.

[Bandit1]

Thank you to the person who responded to my vent...I couldn't see a name there..and yes,I've spoken with the gp many times on the lack of care available and he seems to think there's not much more he can do.Just keep on going...Then I received a call from Fluresco for an appointment for him in a weeks time,and the next day got another call from them that someone had cancelled and could he come in that afternoon!Of course I was pleased to take him in! I asked before that he be put on the list for cancellations and she said she put him at the top as first called.So maybe things are moving finally.Will keep everyone posted....and being a mum,I always look out for the kids before myself...doesn't every mum?Thanks to everyone for all the support!

[Bandit1]

Okay,just an update...we moved house and the setup here is better as my son and I live upstairs and his father who is my carer lives downstairs in a granny flat type thing.This way he's got his own space to chill out in.My son had an appointment yesterday with Fluresco and has another next Monday.I also made certain they knew I would accept any and all cancellations that came up.Now I need to find myself some help! My son has also been more optimistic lately and coming out more...shopping,etc.If he only had a group of friends that were not into drugs or anything,I would be happier,but 'slow and steady as she goes!'I'll keep posting.

[Former-Member]

@Bandit1

pleased to hear that those appointments are happening now for your son.

also good to hear that he is feeling a little more optimistic.

the fact that he is starting to go out is very positive.

have you asked the flutes I people about support groups for your son?

have a look online for some in your area also.

all the best to you all in your new home  

[Bandit1]

Hi @Former-Member,my son had his appointment on Monday,and then we stayed to have coffee and cake with other people there.It was very enjoyable and he connected with a couple of people.I have an appointment for myself on Thursday,so I can start to look after myself.My son wants to go to the coffee group every Monday when it's on,so it's a step in the right direction.Hopefully it will continue to get better,but at least we're finally getting somewhere!Thanks to everyone for your support.And remember to look after yourselves!