Hello @Ivyssoup
I hope you are okay and have someone you can talk to today. I have experienced some of what you describe in my past. It was a terrible situation for me. It was a long time ago, but I still think about it sometimes.
When I had my nervous breakdown my partner at that time was not supportive - which is bad enough, but he would also put me down for being depressed, and try to discourage me from getting help. He would insult me, say that there was 'nothing wrong with me', tell me how terrible I looked and a few other things. Mainly he would just ignore me and never look at me and treat me like I didn't exist. It was like he was disgusted by me.
I think there were a lot of problems in our relationship before I ever became mentally unwell. But me being depressed and anxious made all those problems obvious.
My mental health condition did not cause my ex-partner to become a selfish, uncaring, mean-hearted and cruel person. He was already like that when I met him, only I was naive and didn't see it.
Oh yes, and in hindsight I could see that he was cheating on me as well, probably for the duration of our relationship.
That was my experience. It was a very long road to recovery.
If you would like to chat, I will be about today, on and off. I hope you are doing things to take care of yourself today and giving yourself all the kindness and care that you deserve.
