Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Sorry to read that @Shaz51... it's sometimes hard to take care of others and yourself, but that's all the more reason to make sure you have moments to care for youself.

[Shaz51]

thank you @Former-Member, I just find it hard between my mum and mr shaz , my step children and my physical problems that I forget myself , trying to get that right balance is sooooo hard x

[Former-Member]

There are ways to learn how to let go; sometimes this needs to be done with the help of a trusted counselor esp when abuse has occurred.

This is a  somewhat simple summary of letting go:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learning-to-let-go-of-past-hurts-5-ways-to-move-on/

[Former-Member]

So sorry to hear the news re: uncle @Shaz51.   Concerning times when the ones we love are so unwell.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51

I'm sorry to her about your uncle too - staph in his pace-maker is a big deal

When it comes to uncles and therefore my uncle and aunt - I finally emailed my cousin to find out something, anything - about them and although I don't know any more about them right now - they are entitled to their privacy after all - I got a message that I am much loved - so good to know - so whatever happens I have that message from them via email from my cousin

Yes - we do carry a lot Shaz - and I know you know to care for yourself too but it is easy to forget when you have so much on your plate

meet my new friend - the self-care dinosaur

Dec

[Shaz51]

thank you @Owlunar, @Former-Member, @Former-Member

yes I remember @Owlunar about your aunty and uncle ,glad you get email messages xx

[Owlunar]

Hi and thanks for the link @Former-Member - I have bookmarked it and will read it later when I am not thinking about going to bed and dealing with my itchy eyes - in other words - get away from the screens

The subject about letting go and moving on - it is hard - no one tells us how and and if it was easy no one would need to be told to pull their socks up etc - 

I know I have let my mother go - yes - there are times when I find a thought in my mind - eg - I wish I could talk to my mother then realise now - it's not because she won't but she can't because she died and she was one horribly unhappy old lady

But life has improved a lot since she has been gone - I am not constantly wasting my own life-time making continuous decisions about not visiting today or tomorrow or any other time - so glad that is over

Letting go of my son has been harder but I am getting there too

And even so - with all these wonderful ideas about moving on from the trauma of our various pasts - or all our own pasts - no one can tell us how - I can't say how

Unless it's wanting a future more - how much more? Not much I am thinking - 

I brought this up yesterday in "Awareness of Women's Mental Health" I wonder if I tagged you - I have added you to the list of tags I have for this thread now regardless 

Here's the programme there - I don't know the answers but I am asking the questions and maybe there are some little ideas hiding inside other people - I hope they will surface and be shared

Thanks Darcy

Dec

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Shaz51

[Shaz51]

thanks for the link @Darcy -

how are you and Mr darcy today xx

[outlander]

@Shaz51
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