Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sharonm]

Actually how is everyone going @Justanotherday@CLA@soul@DeeElysia@Lexxy17

[Shaz51]

Hello @Justanotherday@CLA@soul@DeeElysia@Lexxy17, @Sharonm

how is everyone today , I have been thinking of you

[soul]

Too right @Sharonm - being in a relationship with someone who has a mental illness can be exhausting and stressful. So often it can lead you to develop a condition of your own. Hope you're okay. 

[Justanotherday]

Hi everyone,
Hi @soul, @sharaonm and @Shaz51.. things are ok here thanks for asking.

Currently, still in separate living areas, and allowing him to have freedom and space to grow and explore how to be a better person. But it always feels like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. He crossed some boundaries I had set yesterday, and I had to be harsh in reaffirming them, and it set him off.
But now that I see very clearly that it's not me, nor is it my fault, it's easier and harder all at the same time. I see the illness, and it's slowly destroying the strong man I once knew. I can be more understanding, but I'm angry that I can't just relax anymore. Everyday is a struggle to say the right thing. And heaven forbid I have a bad day or need a shoulder to cry on.

It has been mostly good in recent weeks, but it really shocks me how quickly the tide can turn, and the husband who finds me annoying moves in for a day or 2. Having separate living areas (upstairs and downstairs-- we are lucky) makes it easier. But harder on me because I'm the sole parent for 80% of the time.

I'm also struggling with not being offended by the things he says or does. Sometimes I get so mad and it just feels like he has an excuse to be a jerk all the time. But I know the person I love wouldn't do this on purpose. It's just a head f@&* and I'm more exhausted than ever.

I still feel like I have some power here, but the reality of the situation is getting me down and making me feel sad and negative. 😔

[Lexxy17]

Hi @ Shaz51 things have been a bit turmoil here the past week but I am doing ok. Thanks for asking.<br>I finally convinced my husband to see the mental health team that originally treated him on the weekend which also meant a visit to my daughter and granddaughter so that was a bonus for me. <br>The trip to the mhu went ok although we went round in circles for a while he finally admitted that he still thinks all of the bizarre things he seen in his psychotic faze really happened and that I am involved in some sexual cult type deal. Not sure where I find the time to do all that and considering I am not allowed out of his sight very often makes me wonder if I really do have magical powers lol<br>Anyway on the plus side he has agreed to take some medication that they prescribed mainly to stop his thoughts from racing and be able to rest a little. Poor guy is exhausted (makes two of us)<br>Thanks for asking it definitely helps to know somebody cares. Welcome to all the newbies xo

[Shaz51]

Ohh  @Lexxy17, @Justanotherday, @soul, @Sharonm, @CLA

how are you all today , hope you are all ok

[Former-Member]

@Lexxy17, @Justanotherday, @Sharonm, @CLA

Came across this informative talk on bipolar
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vHGf82yy33Q

[Former-Member]

How are you going @Justanotherday @Lexxy17 @Sharonm

[PeppiPatty]

Hello All, @Lexxy17 @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Justanotherday @Sharonm @soul

I started reading this thread thinking: Jeepers the best people who relate are @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Former-Member and @Shaz51...your all here ex. @Former-Member 

These stories are very hard and piainful. Today....I went to see my neighbour and she said: I've known you for 7 years PeppiPatty, and for the first time, I heard you yelling at your husband...I said, yes, I went to the Psych hospital yesterday and left a message saying that I'm not copng and I'm yelling at my husband. I have NEVER yelled.......

I think it's all about self care. Today I removed myself from my immediate environment and went next door and helped the elderly lady with her home. Tonight, I'm going out for dinner with friends arranged by me. Phew. I am working so hard and breaking this cycle I'm in. My self care is usually so good but this latest 'drama,' of my husband...Mr x quitting smoking is a twisty horrible one. 

It's like his meds have to be changed and he has zilch zilch insight. 

What could others do for self care? 

Great thread @Justanotherday thankyou for coming onboard. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I’ve got a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde ........