Hard day

[cdtofi]

Well I went onto Zoom today. It was about having  Resilience. I don’t believe I was meant to be there tho. 
‘There were just a few people there. But I couldn’t talk as it was more than 1.

All I done was cried, I couldn’t get any words out until the participants were gone.

I had a big cry. Something I haven’t done for a while.

I have had an abusive neighbour for 3.5 years now.

Everytime she sees me she goes berserk at me

i have done nothing to her except did not want to make friends with her

I believe I have worked out that she is jealous of me, but I haven’t worked out why. She watches me from her window, everytime I come out of my door

she is making my life hell. I do not go past her unit except in extreme circumstances. 
I hide in my unit until I know that she has gone

I just do not want her to abuse me. I know too well what it’s like to be abused.

i hate it. I don’t usually answer her. The day that I had finally had enough, I did abuse her. I cried for a week. I feel sorry for her. I don’t want to be put in a position that I do it again. Because I had it for my whole upbringing. That’s a little of why I have mental health issues. It’s not a good feeling

i have never had to live under these conditions since I left the home I was bought up in.  I was more of a recluse. I thought I could live my last days out peacefully, but that’s not happening. I’m a prisoner.

I don’t see why I need to leave as I was here first. Plus I like the area it’s very central. So that’s my gripe for the day Sorry. Anyone else got anything like this happening with them???   Or want to chat? I’m bored as usual

boring cdtofi. Have a great night everyone. I’m just off to play some games to keep my mind active.🤭💐🩷

[tyme]

Thank you for sharing @cdtofi .

It sounds incredibly hard to be vulnerable sometimes. The fact that you showed up to the group is HUGE. And the beaut about the groups is that it's OKAY to have your camera off. It's OKAY to have a cry. It's OKAY to share in the chat if you feel you can't say anything out aloud.

We hear you and we hear the hurt you have and are experiencing. I can totally relate to those being jealous of me. In a way, I feel sad for them because they are hurting themselves. 

At the same time, I'm glad you set boundaries to protect yourself.

By walking this journey together, I hope we can find a way to support and encourage each other. 

Sitting with you hun.

[cdtofi]

Thank you tyme 💐❤️

[Appleblossom]

I have a difficult domineering lady in my court who stands guard and analyses everyone and everything in the court in a critical gossipy stupid manner.  At first she drove me inside and I stopped being in my garden. After a few years I started to stand up to her and told her off a couple times. It’s difficult as I need to walk by her house to go to the local shops. I stopped letting her determine my usual behaviours. I loved being able to walk to the shop and potter in my court garden.

Yesterday she started being friendly, but it turned into her typical, non stop verbal diarrhoea, complaining about her husbands while I started thinking she caused the alcoholism. I came inside feeling battered. She won’t change and won’t move, so I take her as one of those things sent to try us. I had lived here for over a decade before she moved in. She is determined to be boss of the court. I am clear and careful about neighbourly responsibilities. These days I have more visitors and more activities so not letting her ruin my life.

@cdtofi yep… to retire in peace… please..

[cdtofi]

Thank you apple blossom.
At least I’m not alone. I had stopped living my life because of her. But I have been advised not to let her win. I guess my life has always let the culprits win. So I’m thinking of changing that pattern as soon as it gets a bit warmer. I was going to start today to sit opposite hers with my friend that lives there, but it’s a bit cool here in Hobart atm. But I do think it’s time I started. Thank you for your reply. I do hope yours gets better as I do mine. Enjoy your night. Bout to take my boy for a walk to see who he can find to bark at lol ❤️💐