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Krishna
Senior Contributor

Feeling Deflated

After 2 1/2 years of waiting for my girl to reconnect with my husband and myself, the message finally came last week that she would like us to visit. My forum family know the heartache I have been experiencing all this time waiting and hoping for this day. So spirits were up, emotions all over the place and just plain and simply eager to see her and give her the biggest hug and love. Then she changed her mind 😞. No explanation but did txt me asking for money, nothing more, zilch. I was really getting close to acceptance of her estrangement and now it feels like all the work I put into getting to that space has dwindled away overnight. The heartache has returned with a vengeance. Does she comprehend this? Does schizophrenia totally rob one of empathy? I’m just tired of this roller coaster ride of emotions. Okay just sad. 

10 REPLIES 10

Re: Feeling Deflated

Oh @Krishna, that's so hard. I'm sorry. 😞 I can totally understand it being harder when there was a flicker of hope that seemed to go almost as quickly. That makes sense, and it is heart breaking, even more so when there are questions of whether the other person realises the impact. Nevertheless, there is an impact, and I want to acknowledge and honour that. Know that it's ok to feel it. It's ok to be upset, hurt and deflated about the sudden change. If what you're experiencing gets too distressing though, please reach out for extra support from somewhere like Beyond Blue (1300 224636). You deserve that extra support. In the mean time, know that I'm here with you as you ride out this rough wave 💜

Re: Feeling Deflated

Thank you @TideisTurning for your understanding and support. 🙏❤️Really got my hopes up that this was going to be the beginning of a healing journey for my girl and family and I’ll never give up hope. 

Re: Feeling Deflated

@Krishna  Krishna if she is off her medication it will destroy empathy I know first hand both with my son and myself.  I wish I could type more but my medication makes my hands shake ..... dont give her any money ..... take good care of yourself love peax

Re: Feeling Deflated

Thank you @greenpea for this possible explanation. She was recently hospitalised again for not being consistent with her meds so this could explain things. With her drug use history I no longer send money when she asks. Thanks darling friend. Rest easy 🙏

Re: Feeling Deflated

@Krishna  always here💚

Re: Feeling Deflated

@Krishna 

herbal tea ...herbal tea ...Blue Blooms and BudsBlue Blooms and Buds

 

Sorry your hopes were raised and dashed.  It is a hard road.  Glad @greenpea spoke honestly.  There is a limit to financial support, but somehow there is no limit to a mother's love.

Maybe she is stuck in trying to get some out of you, but had a moment where she valued the relationship over the money.  Praying she gets more of those moments.

Re: Feeling Deflated

Yes @Appleblossom  a hard road for all concerned. Another message today requesting money, old patterns re-emerging sadly. Thank you for the tea and flowers my friend ❤️🙏

Re: Feeling Deflated

So sorry @Krishna, this is sad and hard to bare. I know of some of anguish you feel. I dont know how to advise you as I dont have the answers. My son is emotionally immature for 30 and some of his decisions are really hurtful. There are alof of insightful and good advice here from people. Love to you from me.

Re: Feeling Deflated

Thank you @Dark_Olena  for the love and support. After 10 years of the emotional upheaval, I’m finding that I bounce back a little quicker by going to my “toolbox” of remedies. So today started with meditating on “May things be good today” and then heading out to the rare sight of sunshine and worked in my garden. I don’t expect to hear from my girl again as she received her pension today so won’t need money. That’s simply the way it’s been all these years. Plus I remind myself of “no expectations, no disappointment”. Just hoping deep down that we will connect again one day ❤️🙏

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