22-03-2020 05:14 PM
I suppose so @Shaz51 .. thanks. Holly is right by my side, as always. 😀🐶 Dear little girl she is. Not up to cuppa though ... feel sick. Holly cuddle will have to do.
22-03-2020 05:59 PM
I am not exactly sure about which thread or person @Former-Member, but I would encourage you to just continue being yourself and posting in the moment where it feels alright to, perhaps responding to someone else on the thread who greets you warmly ? Some things just sort themselves out with time, tolerance and perseverance.
I may have put noses out of joint without realising it ..... and my circumstances or how I post about them may be uncomfortable for others ..... just keep to the path you know, and try not to over-think it ..... it may be simply something that is going on for them.
22-03-2020 06:07 PM
Thanks @Faith-and-Hope 💖
So I have now hurt you too. I am really sorry, I should not have asked. I guess I will just disappear, where I cant hurt anyone else.
22-03-2020 06:23 PM
@Former-Member I am not hurt at all by anything you have said Hon ..... I love and appreciate you very much, and I understand how hurt you are feeling. Please don't go anywhere .... I love having you here, and I am sorry you are feeling that the person isn't responding to you. I have felt that before, and I don't think it is your imagination, just that it will pass with time and perseverance .......
Bug hugs ..... you haven't hurt me at all 💖💖💖
22-03-2020 07:01 PM
@Former-Member ..... it is a fearful time for all of us sweetheart. I can hear that you are feeling overwhelmed, and the situation you are trying to find clarity over really isn't helping, especially as, like me, you would rather just be able to hold a conversation around it and find out what the person is thinking or feeling, and whether you might have said something that upset them, and how to smooth things over.
Despite what has happened now with "my" WH, there have been valuable lessons I have learnt through all the special years we had together, and how special our relationship once was ..... and it was ..... which makes all this just so much harder for me, our kids, or anyone else who knows us to understand.
One thing I did learn to appreciate is that not all people want to talk things out, especially if they are under stress or overwhelmed ..... or sometimes it's because they can't access their own emotions very well, or they grew up without learning how to communicate around emotions with the sort of language we use when we do come together to try to sort out something that feels wrong or off-key.
Where once I would have stepped up to have a let's-sort-it-out conversation, perhaps starting with, "Have I done something to upset you ?" I am now much more wary, and tend to approach things by just being polite and kind, and continuing to do things the way I do, presuming that whatever the problem is will either come to the surface, or just peeter out. Generally one or the other tends to happen, and it gets solved much more calmly with that little buffer of continuing polite conversation / behaviour in between.
It is something I am doing now with relationships that I know can't last the distance, because WH is moving his new partner into their lives, and there just isn't room for that to work with staying in a relationship with me. They will be forced to choose, and will have to choose to accept his new life being a part of theirs.
More hugs incoming @Former-Member ...,, 💐💕
25-03-2020 01:01 AM
Missing you @Former-Member 😔
29-03-2020 04:11 PM
I wanted to thank you for the support you have provided to me since I became a member here in September 2016. I have very much valued and appreciated your support and your friendship during that time.. I sincerely hope I may have, in some small way, provided some comfort and support to you over the years as well. You are going through such a difficult time right now, and its amazing that you can still be here supporting so many others during such a time. You are amazing, you are wonderful, you are an inspiration to so many. I hope very soon things turn around for you and life becomes less complicated, more peaceful and happier for you and your BDs.
Thank you @Faith-and-Hope ... I wish only good things for you.
29-03-2020 04:17 PM
It's so wonderful to see you @Former-Member ..... I have been missing you so much and concerned that I said something that offended you. My intention was to support you as the difficulties worked themselves out with the member who wasn't responding to you.
Ypu are a joy to have around the forums Hon, especially knowing that you have so much to deal with in your own circumstances. You have always been here for me, and so many others with honesty, empathy, humour and care.
29-03-2020 04:22 PM
Thanks @Faith-and-Hope ... you are very kind.
No, you did not say anything to offend me. My concern was that I had hurt you, not the other way around. I should not have involved you about the issue with the other member, especially since you are so close them. I am very sorry.
29-03-2020 04:32 PM
Oh dear @Former-Member 😔 ..... I hadn't picked up that you were referring to someone close to me ..... but you are close to me too. Please don't apologise. I feel honoured that you asked me, especially as it is someone close to me .....
Well then, I would hope that it is simply that they were struggling with something themselves and didn't notice that they weren't responding to you as they normally would ..... or they thought they were giving you space, but leaving a Support notification was letting you know they care ?
Please pop in to the thread again @Former-Member, and see if something has changed ? If you're feeling able to, of course ..... I am here for you Hon, in our own relationship. I joined in March 2016, so we were here within 6 months of each other. You are very specia to me, and maybe I haven't told you enough ......
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