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Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

Senior Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@feilig08 it's very sad that he said you are the reason for his depression when you had a lovely relationship. 

As far as moving on, I feel like I have in some ways and not yet in others. I don't know if I'm ready to date just yet or move on in that regard but I rarely cry anymore and sleep fine etc. Time really does heal us, when I look back at how I was 7 months ago when it first and how I am now I feel like I'm back to my normal happy self and looking forward to the future and possibly meeting someone new. 

Community Guide

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

Hi @feilig08 and welcome to the forum .... 👋

I have followed along with the conversation a little bit, but I don’t think I could say anything better than @Anna88  has.  As painful as it is, it seem that the ball is in his court whether to pick up contact with you again or not, and only time will tell.  You will have to decide how long you are prepared to wait, so making sure you are looking after yourself and your own interests in the meantime is really important.  Something or someone else might come your way that takes your life in a different direction, you never know, but it is really hard to sit with the not-knowing.

Hugs for your situation .....

 

Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@Faith-and-Hope@Anna88Thank you for your replies. You are wonderful!

I will wait and see what happens and what he will want. But it s just hard at the moment to stay away from him. I always have this urge to call him or text him to see how he is. I know he somehow isolated from people cause that`s what he does and i`m sorry for him.

I have to focus on myself first then see what happens.

I wish you all the best. And maybe we will stay in touch if you want that too.

Senior Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@feilig08 best of luck and don't hesitate to message on here again if you want someone to chat too or anymore advice

Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@Anna88 Have you ever thought of calling or texting him to see how he is, if he got help?

Senior Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@feilig08 Yep I've thought about it a million times haha, but in my situation my ex said to me if I contacted him he would feel pressure about getting back together when he's trying to get better. So I haven't contacted him because of that.

Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@Anna88 I admire you so much. You are so strong because you respected his decision. I couldn't do that, when he asked me for no contact i couldn't help myself and called a few times. But now we haven't talked for a month because i know it only makes it worse. But it's really hard actually. I wish one day he will want to talk to me again, if not to be together again.

Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

@feilig08 thank you but I don't think I was that strong haha. I guess I thought by me not talking to him as he requested I would be giving us the best chance of getting back together. I believed in the beginning that he would eventually call and say he made a mistake but in my situation it's been about 6 months since I last heard from him so I dont believe I ever will. 

Casual Contributor

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

Hi everyone, 

 

sorry to barge in on the conversation but I am currently going through a very similar thing. My partner of almost a year completely blindsided me and ended our relationship. He said he is struggling with his mental health and that he needs to be alone to deal with it. We had an amazingly happy relationship. We had travelled overseas together, our parents had become friends and we were moving in together in a few months time. We didn’t even have one fight. He ended the relationship in a 15 minute conversation saying that he couldn’t feel emotions anymore and had become a shell of himself. I tried getting him to talk to me, to see rationality but there was nothing. We had spent the weekend before this together where he told me I was his soul mate and we joked about our future kids names with his family. He said he realised like a ‘switch’ the next morning that the relationship had to go, the worst part is that he couldn’t give me a reason why. He asked immediately for no contact. I did see him 2 weeks ago to give each other our stuff back. He was cold and withdrawn and could still not explain why he ended the relationship. He just said he needs to be alone to work on his mental health and justified it by saying that he can be selfish when he needs to be. 

 

I wish so very badly that he had opened up to me that he was currently dealing with his depression and anxiety again. I had tried asking for a few weeks if something was up but he would snap at me and say it was exam stress at uni. He had been married before and it was a turbulent marriage full of mistrust and his depression was prominent throughout it as well. I feel like I have lost half of my world. 

 

I guess im dealing with a horrible rollercoaster of emotions at the moment where I know I deserve to be treated better, I miss him painfully everyday (and have been tempted to contact him lately, but I won’t!) but I’m also mourning the person I thought I was dating and all the amazing memories we shared. It’s been 4 weeks since the breakup and it still hurts everyday. Reading stories of people going through the same thing is helpful and seeing people move past this is inspiring. 

Community Guide

Re: Depressed boyfriend ended relationship

Hi @Confused6 and welcome to the forums ..... 👋

 

Your story is heart-breaking, but you already know that ..... so working though grief stages is probably where you are uo to in this moment.  It’s a harsh outcome, so investing in self-care is a good priority for helping you move forward and heal some of that pain.

 

I have a “living grief”

situaion going on.

 

Here is a Carer’s Hints and Tips thread that may help, even though you are not directly in a carer role at the moment ..... self-care comes under this banner too.