Are you a people pleaser?????

[Shaz51]

Hello @Jynx 

Talking about.being a people pleaser 

[Jynx]

Good topic @Shaz51 !

I was a really bad people-pleaser (and still struggle with it too) and took me a long time to recognise that I needed to learn to recognise my own needs too!

People-pleasing is actually a trauma response! You can read more about it here. Would love to hear others' experiences too!

[Shaz51]

Hello @Jynx 

My mum just said I ammmmm too nice 

[Shaz51]

Could not eat my dinner tonight @Jynx , @BlueBay , @Anastasia , @Emelia8 , @Judi9877 , @Faith-and-Hope , @Zoe7 , @ShiningStar , @Dimity , @Scoo , @Appleblossom 

[BlueBay]

I am a people pleaser snd have been all my life. I didn’t know it’s a trauma response @Jynx @Shaz51 

[BlueBay]

Thsts me - a fawner @Jynx 

interesting  read.  It’s so me!!!

I hate confrontation 

hate fights 

cannot stand up for myself 

[Shaz51]

It is as my mum and aunty can not go up the steps anymore @BlueBay , @Jynx 

So instead of cramming everyone in my mum's room downstairs,  we have set up a table for 8 people for tomorrow  morning tea celebrations

[Dimity]

Hope ur OK @Shaz51 not feeling like eating is a worry. 

Re being a people pleaser when I was working I had the bad habit of speaking up to bosses etc instead of leaving things unsaid. So I guess that's a no. Sticking my head over the parapet was what some called it. I guess I had good intentions if that counts for anything. 

[Jynx]

Aww @Shaz51  sounds super complicated, and thus super stressful! I hope you can have a little snack later on.

Since when is being too nice a character flaw! If others take advantage of that, then shame on them, not on you!

@BlueBay Super interesting to learn hey! It helped me to be a little bit nicer to myself, because I needed to learn that I am actually allowed to want and have things! The tricky part is learning to listen to my own wants, because so often when I ask myself what I want it can appear to be stuff like "I just want this person to be happy" or "I just want us not to fight."

[Shaz51]

Hugs @Dimity 

Mr shaz and I have set up a table for tomorrow morning tea under the patio with no aircon 

My mum did not want everyone crammed into her bedroom tomorrow  xxx