Starting over

[Dreamy]

@Sadness2015 yes the pain and grief is the same. I'm usually around most of the time to chat so feel free to tag me whenever ☺️

[Sadness2015]

@Dreamy thank you - I will need it in the next few weeks ..... I think that is why my psychologist suggested this site ..... I did not want to join a 'group session' - but maybe I might give it a go in 2026 ... I just don't know how I am going to manage another holiday on my own .... 

[Dreamy]

@Sadness2015 i hear you. As for how you are going to manage another holiday on your own, just take it one little step at a time. At the moment I'm living my life minute by minute, tackling whatever comes in that moment and then facing the next when it happens. The community here is amazing and really is my only support network so I'm hoping you find it helpful to connect here aswell. 

Be gentle with yourself and sending you hugs ❤️.

[ENKELI]

@Sadness2015 oh honey, what a lot to have to cope with. 

You mentioned that you moved countries, are your family near you or in another country?

It's not surprising that you're disassociating given everything you have been through and are still going through. 

Has your psych given you tools to help cope?

What can we on the forum do to help?

Don't feel you have to answer all at once. 

Living with bipolar 2 and anxiety doesn't help when I am feeling vulnerable and sometimes I have to take a step back until I feel better.

[Sadness2015]

@Dreamy - thank you - this is my only support now as well.... it is tough doing this alone, especially when you are having a bad day. 

It is near impossible to explain this pain and grief to anyone that has not lived it - they just don't get it. 

[Dreamy]

@Sadness2015 i completely understand. It is incredibly tough to not have anyone but you've found this community, so know that in this space you're not alone ❤️.

[Sadness2015]

@ENKELI - this is my 4th country since my home country .... but I cut ties with every last family member before first immigration .... more like that cut ties with me .... another long story ..... I at least had my two best friends of 25 years at time of my separation/divorce (so I felt ok) then this happened and they both deserted me - so no support and starting over in a new country was extremely tough.... 

I think all my injuries from work place accident 2 years ago and subsequent health issues are what have pushed me over the edge as I was placed on DSP 6 months ago - and the isolation and insane loneliness kicked in. I already had chronic PTSD and now I also have chronic anxiety disorder since the accident ....  

My psychologist feels like she can't really help me anymore - it is more just me seeing her when I can't manage in my head anymore and like I mentioned, the holiday are the worst... 

Just sharing online with others that have been through similar events and share my pain and grief - makes me feel less alone.... so thank you to everyone who has responded to my messages today. 

[ENKELI]

@Sadness2015 sorry for the delay in responding, I got a phone call from my mum telling me that my uncle passed away this morning (Saturday) so I've not been online while I was talking to my cousins. He was a lovely man, married my mum's youngest sister and while I can't stand her I was very fond of my uncle.

I'll try and check in with you Sunday. You're in my prayers 🙏 ❤️ 

@Jynx @Dreamy hope you're both well xx

[Chasingsunsets]

Hi everyone,

@Sadness2015 @ENKELI@Dreamy, I am unable to relate to your stories but I just want to thank-you for sharing. I wasn’t able to stop past without acknowledging with my support button and writing a post, I hope that’s ok.

You are all incredibly brave and have been through so much and to know you guys continue to put one foot in front of the other is so inspiring. I feel so grateful to have met you guys here and be apart of your journeys as well. @ENKELI you really did sum up the process of trauma well, you are all incredibly wise and hope that if you guys want a chat, although you have each other, if I am around I am always up for a chat too 💜

Take care, big hugs and thinking of you all 🫶💛

@Jynx @Shaz51 

[Sadness2015]

@Chasingsunsets -  

You mentioned in your post - "@ENKELI you really did sum up the process of trauma well, you are all incredibly wise"  where was this - would love to read if I have not ..... yesterday was one of my darkest days in the last two years .... so not sure if I read it or missed if - if you could please repost/share.