Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Karren]

I find this really helpful. Thank you. I care for two folk with different needs and days are not predictable. Having lost four significant people in the last 18 months I am trying to re frame my life and friendships while taking on a caring role..one of whom is around 100 and one who has a long term mi.and I am.new to this role after a busy professional role.
So to look forward to waking up in the morning I get up to walk a dog and dig a new garden or part of one.
To look forward to something in the middle of the day I take my aged parent for drive to bunnings.
To look forward to something in the next week I plan a trip to a coffee shop with a friend for breakfast before everybody is up.
To look forward to the next month I plan a visit to.a new garden or a new national.park and a long walk
I do not plan 6 months ahead or 12 months ahead at the moment. The last two years of losing close friends and relatives and a struggle with cancer put paid to my feel8ng string enough to do that.
In the middle of it all I am learning to give praise for the moment.
No lists for me.

[RG01]

Careers ... Wow i owe my success and current happiness to them. Having had a hell of a lot of brain surgery from the age of 14 and now as a young woman - to be finally living independently I know would not have come from not for the amazing carers who helped soooo much along the way. It's my struggle now to maintain and I know in the future I may once again be reaching out to a career... Do you know as carers (this goes out to all the carers) I owe the quality of my life to you. My confidence and strength of character and willpower it was built by you. You're all my backbone. You gave of yourselves in turn to give other disadvantaged humans a loving and solid foundation to rebuild their lives on. I do understand some of the many obstacles, sacrifices and discomforts you endure on our behalf. The toll it takes emotionally, physically and everything in between. The way you have to juggle your own lives and often feel depleted in some ways. My goodness there's not enough words to express my gratitude...

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you for that @RG01.....

I know there are many moments as carers, particularly if you are dealing with someone who is hostile or invasive in their manner and attitude that you start to wonder whether you are appreciated for what you do, and whether it is all making the difference you hope it is ....

Your response is so encouraging and supportive ....

Thank you

💐

[STAY_CALM]

Hi @sybill07,
re: looking after yourself theory vs practice.
I have just read all the excellent replies to what other carers do to look after themselves and for me I find acceptance that I cannot do all the things that I really want to do and carrying less "have to's" has helped me manage my caring role. Acceptance that I have this time consuming, often extremely stressful role. I have found over time that by reducing other tasks in my life gives me the necessary energy to cope effectively with my role as a carer. I find that by walking daily, keeping regular sleep patterns, eating healthy meals, practising mindfulness meditation, reflecting each day on what I have to be thankful for, re-energises me for the next day. I focus on the now and try not to look backward or to look too far forward as we cannot change the past nor to we have any control over the future. I learned the hard way many years ago doing too much looking after someone until I crumbled. It taught me the importance of self care. We are no good to anyone else if we also become ill, therefore we must ensure that we prioritise our own self care.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yep ... well said @STAY_CALM .... 😊