Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Lucky2015]

Hey @CherryBomb

Something I have found works for me is making whatever those routines are into habits as much as possible. Used to find that all the best intentions go to hell in a handbasket kind of fast unless I can develop a habit around them (so it becomes automatic). For example ...

Problem: Used to tell myself I need to eat healthier during the day, but would end up eating rubbish in the afternoon because I half starved myself all day. At the low sugar end of the day I would cave in. Willpower had disappeared.
Solution: Recognised that low sugar in afternoon was making me cave in. Recognised that I am very lazy when it comes to preparing food. So I started shopping on Monday morning for healthy food that required, minimum to no preparation.
Habit: Every Monday morning after my walk, would drop into early opening fruit market and buy my stash of stuff.

Result: Graze on healthy food throughout the day, and don't eat rubbish in the afternoon. Am also eating less at dinner.

Whether it is having someone turnup at your front door for excercise to force you to go, or putting a timer on your computer to stop you spending too much time on it, the key is placing it on automatic pilot.

A good book on this is "The Power Of Habit" by Charles Duhigg.
Also "Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength" by Roy F. Baumeister & John Tierney

Personally, my willpower is weak, but my habits can make me strong.

[Lucky2015]

Hi @Kiera80

Personally suggest meditation. When I do it (off the wagon at the moment), I normally do it first thing in the morning for 10-20mins before I get started for the day. Even a small amount like that I find really good, just makes me more present during the day, and helps me snap out of unresourceful states quicker.

Don't have to shave your head and dress in saffron robes (unless you are into that kind of thing). I do Vipassana meditation, which can be secular, doesn't require me to chant a mantra to wake up the kids and pets.

A good read for this one is: "Mindfulness in Plain English" by the Venerable Henepola Gunaratana.

Hope this helps.

[Kiera80]

Hi @Lucky2015

I totally agree with you and I love my 10 minutes of meditation that I do when I can.

I have downloaded an app called Calm to my phone and I found it to be amazing for a meditation session.  You do what they call the 7 steps of calm for 7 days.  They you can either subscribe or redo the free sessions again if you want.  It's one of the best apps I've found.

Personally I think everyone should be doing some sort of meditation.  It's so good for the mind and well being.

Have an awesome day!

[CherryBomb]

Great advice about making habbits @Lucky2015. It makes change seem less daunting. Did you find establishing the habbits difficult? I imagine that would be most challenging thing, but once the habbits are formed, it relatively smooth sailing. 

[Lucky2015]

Best way to establish a habit is to piggy back it onto something that is already a habit. i.e. Meditating straight after brushing my teeth in the morning. Buying good food, directly after my morning walk (which had someone expecting me to turn up to).

As for smooth sailing. Yes and No. If you remove the trigger that stops to process from starting then you have problems. i.e. for some reason not brushing my teeth that morning.

The key is to keep coming back to it, eventually it will become second nature, and who cares if it takes a year for it to take hold so you don't even think about it? Normally these good habits are ones you want to keep for life. Just keep at it.

[aristosane]

Hi @CherryBomb, thanks for this 5-step guide.  Think I need to print it out and put it on my bedroom wall as a constant reminder that if I don't take care of myself I cannot possibly take care of my loved ones. Thank you for this

[Shaz51]

I totally agree with you @aristosane, i will do the same as I forget about caring for myself which @CherryBomb has told me to do  before . I start them and then i go into the habbit of forgetting again

[Shaz51]

Hello @CherryBomb, @aristosane, @Lucky2015, @Kiera80, @artee, @tulip, @Alessandra1992 

I looked up this tread to reread all our messages, and was wondering how everyone is going  as i find i go alright for a little while and then when somehing happens and I end up forgetting myself and about balance

after last week , it was good to reread it again

[Kiera80]

Hi @Shaz51

I reread the posts on this as well and the interesting thing I found was how easy it is to stray from good intentions.  I have been guilty of doing this lately.

I have been really busy over the past few weeks painting and redecorating at home and it's zapped most of my energy.  I have found myself to be more iratable of late and that's not good at all. 

I have also been getting headaches lately and I am having the craziest dreams that make no sense at all, stupid enough to wake me up at times.  I wonder why my mind needs to be so busy while I'm sleeping.  I quite often wake up more tired than before I went to sleep because of the dreams.  Aaarrgghhh!!!!!

In the past few weeks I have changed my diet and I'm eating super healthy now which has made me feel better.  I noticed that some extra weight has steadily krept on over the past 6 or so months and I want to get back to a decent weight again.  I feel healthier.

I am also taking more quiet time during the day.  I'm trying to only verbalise when I have to and trying to be quiet most of the time.  Doing this is making me feel calmer.  It has surprised me how much I talk during the day and when I get home I talk to the dogs too.  Most of it is just not necessary.  I'm going to try to make being more quiet a habit.

In a couple of months I'll be on an overseas holiday (yay - me time) and I promised myself I would go and get a massage every day.  I am so looking forward to that.  Chilling out on the beach under the sun and just relaxing.

[Lucky2015]

Hi @Shaz51,

Well I have fallen off the wagon with my mediation again. But have just restarted.

I remember a good Muhammad Ali quote that says 'Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.'

Its not that I have dropped the habit again, but how quick I get back to it that matters (I have to remind myself that I am just human after all).

So back into it. Starting small, step 1, set my alarm to get up half an hour early again!

Looking forward to being a little more relaxed and less irritable.

Thanks for asking.

PS: Been walking my dog more which also helps me chill out.