Well I mean @Anastasia perhaps the doctors aren't the people to talk to re when to come home? Is it possible to talk to your son about how important it is for support to be in place before he comes home? I mean I don't know, I have not been in your situation and I can't even imagine being there. But having support in place is going to be an essential part of his continued recovery. And I think if things don't feel right, say something. But yeah, don't know if it's possible to have that conversation with him or not.
I'd also contact your therapist--are they trauma informed? If they aren't, I'd recommend you see a trauma informed therapist--both of you should actually. But anyway, contact your therapist and book some appointments in advance.
Hypervigilant is completely understandable and perhaps necessary at this point in time. It's probably going to aid you in getting all the t's crossed and i's dotted. Trying to find a way--eventually--to switch it off for a rest is something to work toward.
@Anastasia yeah I think the more I focused on my shit the less capability I had to deal with anything else. But I wasn't exactly the picture of health before therapy... Hmm.. I don't know. None of it is really clear to me right now. Thanks for the encouragement, it's been a journey. I've put in a lot of work and I'm a different person to the one I was before therapy. But the ongoing battle for me is intimacy issues. Therapy has I guess made me address those things from the past and there's times when I don't want to be touched or comforted or kissed--anything. I can only imagine how difficult that must be for a partner to navigate. And I guess when it goes from one extreme to the other it doesn't help either. I guess I used to supress a lot of stuff in that department, but after therapy it all changed. I didn't mean for it to change, at all, but it did. I tried explaining it. Tried talking about it. Tried reassuring my partner that it wasn't them, it was me. And you know my therapist is there encouraging me to put those boundaries up because I'm not wrong to feel this way and if I don't want to be touched that's ok. I don't know. It's all a tangled mess of shit from the past infecting the present. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Just that maybe this was what had to happen and maybe it will be for the best I guess. I really don't feel like I'm capable of being in a relationship at all. And truthfully, I haven't felt very capable of it for a long time.
ugh. Sorry @Anastasia went off on a tangent there. Still processing it all obviously. And it's easy talking to you. This is bringing some stuff up for me so I think I might go lie in bed and just have a think for a while.
Let me know how you get on with the support coordinator and everything tomorrow. Hope everything falls into place for you and your son. Hope you get some rest tonight
