Peer Group Chat// Internal Conflict // Thursday 20th June 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST

[tyme]

Thank you to everyone who joined. Here are some notes. I've also tagged others who are interested but couldn't join tonight:

@Alonely @7cough9 @Glisten @Shaz51 @GreyWolf7 @Captain24 @ButterflyWings @Bon_courage @Healandlove @WildFlower1 

Q1: How do you experience internal conflict?   real struggle inside.   hard to even put into words  all your energy is put into this internal war and it's hard to see a resolution. It can appear physical as well. Can lead to fatigue, just wanting to sleep, agitation  constant fight within myself as to whether I give in or keep going. The constant negativity that goes through my head  Physically I feel the fight, flight or freeze response while psychologically I might be in a state of anxiety, worry, apprehension.  that moment of trying to deal with the state of conflict itself. Trying to calm the racing mind so I can weigh up the decisions for and against, and achieve some kind of resolution.  Mental exhaustion followed by physically being unable to function properly  Depends on severity e.g. whether it challenges our values  internal fight of what you are or aren’t doing to what you should be i.e tension between what we know we ought to do versus what our mind and body wants to do  shame vs self-esteem, deference vs confidence , ambition versus serenity, faith versus scepticism  rumination

Q2: What sorts of things might we experience internal conflict about?  - based on ethical issues, principles or values - when they're challenged and I'm unsure about how to speak up and challenge the issues with people. Happens in the workplace for me.  - Family, relationships.  - Day to day life. Things that you should be doing but don’t feel you can. Social events. Family.  - disparity between the positive and self destructive choices I have made  - people  - parents  - legally binding documents  - things we do or say  - learn the skill of ‘good enough’

Q3: How does internal conflict impact or influence your life?   No peace  Restlessness  Irritability  Changeability  Draining  Soul-destroying  Makes on doubt mental capacity, and whether capable of performing the various roles I have. I feel like I don't belong in, or deserve, community. It makes me feel and look sad and defeated. I feel exhausted and defeated.  balancing the pathological internal conflict that gets me know where against the internal conflict that promotes better decision making. I'm trying to practice mindfulness more on the first one.  Imposter syndrome in order to please people, yet this is conflicting  ‘fake it till you make it’ allows you to experiment with what works

Q4: How can we become more aware of our internal conflicts?  Sweaty palms  Speaking really fast  Excessive rumination  Anxiety  immobilised physically and mentally if severe conflict arises  rumination, avoidance of triggering situations, nausea or headaches maybe.   Therapy e.g. DBT, CBT, ACT  Obituary exercise: what will people say at your funeral? They will highlight meaningful aspects of your life

Q5: What are some of the barriers to addressing internal conflict?   Fear  Ill-health  People saying other things  Self – we can be our own worst enemy sometimes  External expectations  Trauma  Systemic/environmental factors  12-step recovery program  Owning aspects of yourself  Considering growing and recovering past current limitations

Q6: How can we create opportunities to help resolve our inner conflict?   Accept the things we know we cannot change  Working to change the narrative to what we want it to be  Learn to ‘let go’  Therapy  Peer support  Having someone to bounce ideas off  Having an open mind  Balancing working outside our comfort zones  Be around others  Connection to see the true self  Self-reflection

Q7: If you are having difficulty resolving inner conflict, what are some ways to help guide and support the process of resolution?  Consider the end goal and ideally who you want to be. Work backwards to create stepping stones for yourself.  Research about the conflict to gain a deeper understanding about what is happening  Journalling  Pro/Cons list  Therapy to gain a different insight  Talking to trusted people about it  Being able to let go when things are not perfect  Reflection about what people have said

Q8: What is one thing you want to try next time you experience internal conflict?  Curious before furious  Consider when to speak and when to keep quiet  Reflection  Obituary task  Battle on

Resources from tonight:

1 A Journey to Self-Discovery and Healing: https://carespace.health/post/embracing-mental-wellness-a-journey-to-self-discovery-and-healing/#:~:... 

2 What is the purpose of self-exploration?: https://psychcentral.com/blog/self-exploration-getting-to-know-thyself

3 9 Ways to Kick Off Your Self-Discovery Journey: https://www.healthline.com/health/self-discovery#find-your-value 

4 Obituary Exercise: https://www.fearlessculture.design/blog-posts/write-obituary-exercise (thanks 7cough9 for sharing!) 

Chat from last week: Peer Group Chat// Journey of Self-Discovery // Thursday 13th June 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST 

[tyme]

Hey @7cough9 , would you like to share a bit more about 12 step recovery?

[Glisten]

Thank you @tyme @Jynx for facilitating this PGC. I look forward to reading the links.

@7cough9 Obituary exercise - only you would know such a thing 🙌🏼

@Shaz51 Keep us updated on Mr

@Alonely I liked what you said about some times you can’t say nothing.

G

[Healandlove]

@tyme thank you. This is brilliant!